moments of beginnings

11 jan 2009

2009-01-12T22:16:00.003+08:00

Today is Futya's 1 year 6 months birthday. Guess what? She has her own nickname.. 'yaya'... Funny as it may seem. I called this lappie 'yaya'. Coz it’s the end of my daughters' name. Realized it yesterday, when hana asked whose feet are these? She answered 'yaya'.I noticed that too before this, just wasn't paying so much attention to ask her. Futya is shier than Nayya. So her communication skill is compromised (bot in a bad way la) a bit. She uses more body language and cries and signs to say what she wants. But I noticed that she understands what I say to her quite early in her life. So when I bebel her she would cry even more. Hehehe.

I think Nayya by this age has all her teeth, but for sweet Futya, she only has 7!

Futya can show her hands, legs, hair, teeth, eyes, nose, ears, belly button, tummy, easily. Just have to ask her at her right mood time! If not you'll only get blank face answer. I think as in size, Futya is a bit small. Given to her after birth weight, which was 3.75kg. She didn’t seem to groom into the size she was born with. But its still ok for me.

BTW, it was this age that Nayya got a little sister. I remembered that Nayya too didn't have too many words. Ayang had said that 'I hope by the Nayya had Futya she would be able to talk'.. but Nayya didn;t have that many words. But she already knew how to say duduk, jatuh, bird

ah well, penat la doing this diet. its high protein, moderately high fat, low carb for 5 1/2 day, 1 1/2 day high carb , low fat, high protein. it makes my body goes into crazy mode. i want to exercise 4-5 times a day. but the diet only allows me to do 4 days of exercise. more onto strengthening. but i am in no mood to do that. just exercise. i can't do much exercise. will get too tired by 5th day. if i dont have enough protein, i would go grouchy. with everyone!

2009 update!

2009-01-09T22:26:00.002+08:00

ok, ok i have not been updating soooooo long.

futya now is 1 year 6 months (in 2 days time) and nayya is 2 years 11 months and 18 days old.
ahhh, nayya is talking so fast now. but she still has her baby talk thingy. asked by her nani 'nayya2 nape nayya cakap pelat?' she would say ' sebab nayya kecik lagi laaaa'

hehehe... that pandai you know!!! now her 's' is changing to 'sh' rather than 'ch'. example, 'shushu' rather than 'chuchu'.

futya.. the cheeky baby!! she can of course run, walk, spout, rengek, laugh.. but not talk as in real words to you. strong or strong willed, yet shy. no help baby yet so clingy. her wants and not are very strongly expressed. even when i thought she would not understand, she did. aaa... so to say. she always fights with her sister. either the sister takes away the 'pleasures' she was busy doing (playing her newly found joy.. toys or scribbling with her new pen or talking with her softoy) or she's just being possessive over her mama or her 'area'... well, when the fights gets too noisy comes in the mama saying ' stop no more fighting' then the bebel starts. or the snapped reaction begins. ahahahaha....

futya still is breasfeeding while nayya stopped when she was 2 and a half year. quite easy to wean her. told her the milk isn't enough for her & her sister. then she just asked i would say that. soon she just understood herself. so i can say nayya is like an adult when it comes to understanding things. i just have to explain. of course in the beginning the would be some rebelling reaction. but in the end she would just say it out loud...a sign that she understood. its not just that time. up till now all i have to do is explain. but you know, sometimes, patence is a virtue. i loss my patience, then comes in the snapping reaction. besides, she's still a child. no matter how good she is, she's still so pure. many things have to teach her.

nayya would be a very big sister for futya.. as if she's that big!! she would teach her sister to say things rightly, tell no to things futya should not do, take away things from futya when its not suppose to play with.

futya, is different from nayya. they are 2 different individuals. coming from the same parents, i would never thought that these characters would develop since babyhood. i guess i never put myself as kids, or teen, or adult. i was always the same. i didn't have the 'i was small kid self' or 'i the big girl self'.. so i think these girls are now developing their characters from now.

its just so crucial.

ooo yes, futya loves to talk, sing softly, even dance. they both have.

nayya now is showing interest in drawing, coloring, learning abc. hopefully with the right education & patience she can learn how to read by the age of 4-5...

i tried to put in some pics.. but the uploading is just too slow...

so no more pics.. hehehe

ammonium carb 200 and 4 steps!

2008-05-18T00:41:00.003+08:00

everytime logged into my blog i always see my cats.. esp naru.... aaa... miss him so much.

a short entry.. i think.

futya 2 steps move was on 14th may.. then today another 4 steps. she's doing it!! finally. and she knows how to ejek mama, ayah, nani or makciks' if kene bebel i think... heheheh... well getting cuter and naughtier... dah pandai panjat tangga.. looking for her mama everywhere.. kat dapur ke, facial room ke sauna room ke... mama must be somewhere.. i know..

while nayya... tis the effect of ammonium carb 200. ahahahaha... her true nature or what my mom said as her suppressed nature has come out!! i think its just her assertions over her individual rights has come up.. finallly?? wasn't hoping for it. but i kinda know that its coming.. ahahaha.. take today. over the many things that she was being stubborn to, i just take this one as an example. LOHTTC is going on some renovation.. addition to our little center.. so, we had to stay at KLINIK TAQWA. she and futya slept on the mengkuang mat for their afternoon nap. then of course futya woke up first, being the 5 min baby!!then nayya woke up. i was just preparing some food for dinner. so i wanted to peek at nayya sleeping, she was awake. so took futy & her asking her to walk on her ownla. so her ayah was mopping the floor. said to him, take care of nayya, i have to finish cooking. so nayya was holding onto her 'pee pee', her ayah said go to mama and pee... she didn't want. finally she pee'ed la!! on the staircase. her ayah got a little upset. but i was well, its her 'tak nak' mood.. never mind. i tried to pujuk her to take off her clothes so that i can move her without having pee all over the center. she didn't want.. so i picked her up. she was screaming.. no!no!

then put her into the bathroom. i peeled off her pants.. practically peeled!!! then her underwear.. she was crying. and wanted to put on her pants back.. then i said fine.. let me wash the pee. after that she went to the back.. to cry. i told ayang never mind let she have what she wanted. so she even put on the shirt that i washed.. wet clothes on!!

so i let her wear wet clothes. hoping she would realize and say 'mama my clothes are wet.. can i change ?' nope that did not happen!! till the clothes dry she wore 'em.. but just because i let her do the things she wanted.. she tried to pee in the bathroom. but of course tak sempatla.. she took off her pants then ran to the toilet. without telling me.. so i just ran after her.. but making it seem like a coincidence. i told her, nayya you pee'ed.. tak sempat ye. takpela kite cebok ye? she just went along.. with no tantrums!! so her pants was off her by this time. then she wanted to sleep. 'mama nak shushu..' i said youcan have it but change your clothe first.. no i dont want. so said well no milk for you then. she did that for 30 min. then she was about to show another tantrum. her ayah said just give what she wants. i was just going to give her shushu. then she said ok mama i will change my clothes. pakai baju mama? then she didn't want. she chose her own clothes, which was not pyjamas... dress mind you. anything la in my mind than wearing something wet.

so in the end she managed to chose and make her own desicion.. in her mind. satisfied? i dunno. maybe tomorrow its gonna be another challenge. BTW, she went to pray jumaat last friday.. 9/5/08.

ok that's not a short entry... ahaha... its alreaady 1 am here.. nope have not made the detox diet recipe!!! ahahahaha

oo wish me luck on my promo month and lohttc new studio!!

10 months, 2 yrs 3 months

2008-05-09T01:20:00.003+08:00

justice ok..

now futya has a couple of days to her 10 months birthday, nayya is already 2 years 3 months old.

futya
she is already an expert in her crawling.. can climb stairs mind you..!! now am waiting for her to make her first move.. she's like nayya.. only more advance.. she lovessss music.. whenever she hears any sound she starts to dance... noticed that sometime in february i think. she would move her body to and fro or her hands she would move em.. now i knowla.. she was dancing. in fact she can mumble like singing. just now i was mumbling singing.. she followed me. she's a fast copier. coz her big sister would be her teacher... she knows how to 'bye-bye', she's not blur over things. manja yet pandai

nayya
aaa... she's learning fast.. can now form words. her vocab is more than i thought it was.. catches on to things we tought her fast. of course she's pelat... well cant say much bout it. but the descriptions she's giving over somethings... i myself find it quite well.. terperanjat. cute.

she loves her sister a lot. dah pandai ajak futya main.. of course futya is moody. kengkadang nak kengkadang taknak. dah mula mengurus.. memanjang dah pulak. oo yeah she lost her kuku coz dumbell on top of her left big toe. when was that?? almost a month.

pandai dah go to toilet on her own. she doesnt wear any diapers anymore, this is alreaaady been 3 months i think. even at nites she does not wear any diaper.. already been a month with that.

but of course her fav spot for pipis n o'ok is on the toilet mat.. the ones we put on top of floor.. other place no no... so its up to mama to clean up her 'mess'.. well what are moms for eh??

my thought that brought me to updating my blog was, will my girls need me the way they do rite now? when they can do things on their own.. aaa... just looking on how futya's clinging on to me on her being happy, playing, sleeping, moving, u know she just wants me to be around her so that she can play. (that's why i cant do thing fast enaf.. ended up playing with nayya n futya).. and nayya now that she's more independant - it just makes me think.

but of course that's just some silly thoughts of me. me being mom of 2, still clings to my mama!!! ahahaha... they say once you have children, they will always be your children...

ahh well... this is just me ramblings... was just kinda wanting to let things be a some plain of thoughts passing by, but aimi made me sleep a little bit late than usual... so here's updates!!

no pics tho

tagged ape ke menda ntah.. ni aimi la ni

2008-05-09T00:24:00.002+08:00

7 random facts about me :

2 babies with 'ya' ending in their first names (ahahah!)
wife to pelintah-to-be ... :P
10 kg more than i should be (another ahaha..!! aimi nak kene ketok)
beautician yet am sloppy at taking care of myself ... am struggling here.... hehehe
working - office n home combine in one.. which is first?
crazy yet aloof - as one of my lecturer said (aloof part tho)
doing biz yet no knowledge in biz ... again challenge la ni

7 things that scare me :

earthquake
tsunami
something bad happen to my babies, ayang, everyone la in my family - ha reminds me.. late nite sms or calls.. dun do that ever.. unless its really urgent. faham tu??? hate that so much, coz it scares me a lot
war - had bad dreams bout it
anything what they call as high rides - was crazy bout em before, then i got dreams, recurring dreams of falling from da sky.. no more .. ever...
ulats, lipas, anything that creeps
no food, no money.... hehehe

7 random music at the moment :

jalan cinta
ayat-ayat cinta
sayang-sayang
mahluk tuhan paling seksi - aaaaa... not like song but catchy .. cant get it out of system
quran - everlasting
sempurna - gita gutawa
hujan - pagi yang teraang .. sumting aa

7 things i say the most :

ye kut
ha pe die
tak tau
ntahhh
hehehe
kambeng bek bek
kambeng gurun

7 things i treasure the most :

babies stuff - momentos of their early life
wedding pics
my tasbih - purple crystal
wedding n engagement rings, braacelet n rantai, pendant - tu ma n matuk bagi...
my lappy
babies pics.. wahh.. hundreds of 'em
and the documents.. all records la

well, when Mastanah flooded, we just took our lappy, jewelleries, sijil2, baju anak2, all harddrives.. the rest tinggal, hope for the best la... so we know what's important la ni ... ahahaha.. tis was the emergency packing.. if the water rise till bumbung kan.. heheheh...

7 first time things i ever did : (hard to think of answers - its already 1.03 am here)

facial - ahahah - 2 hours to finish and it was stupid - not even nicely done. was doing it coz i had to not b'coz i wanted to.. cuak gile.
jual barang buatan sendiri with baby demam - muke tebal gile.. n it waas crazy with all the explaining. man who says its easy to make money..
masak for people with a dateline - ie timeline -- it waas crazy and i had to do it for a month - up till now i had not re do the recipes - my aunts, mom, matuk upset bout it... they want the recipes... ahahaha. it worked!!
read novel - little women, english novel at the age of 12.. my first serious engllish reading material and i finished reading it.. i thought i understood what i read.. ahahahaha... kinda not sure.
live on my own with my own family - hmm.. has its ups and downs.. downs are when pinggan bersepah kotor, sampah tak buang, baju tak lipat, anak-anak comot, mama die tak mandi , dapur tak berasap wat kate mama, ahahaha.... ups.. everything is in order!!
what else?? failing. dun talk about it. it hurts a lot
looking at nayya after gave birth to her - aaa, what beauty, futya too .. alhamdulillah. feeling is and will always be overwhelming

7 people to do this : (i dunno)

ayang
hana
mama
baba
who else??
bla?
kambeng?
gurun?? ahahahaha

habis dah??? thank god.. ni aimi nye citer la nih ..

oi;9lukmj0koj

2008-01-16T17:18:00.000+08:00

i have a swimming baby.. swimming in the seas of hard, carpeted or sponged floor. hehehe...

how i describe futya's crawling way. first it was cacing or ulat style.. now its getting faster and ]
moving on a wider range. am telling yo finishing this sentence is a hassle for me.. its likeme, the lappie or futy7a and the lappie.. she wants to say something too.]]
\

she was somewhere e=se===--

ok i quit=-[\
el
\s\e u no

\\\\\\\]\

monster under the bed?? in the sauna room???

2008-01-14T23:41:00.000+08:00

i am putting this into words... just maybe one day when nayya is all grown up she can know. rite?

so its like last 2 weeks, rite before the new year, make it 3 days before when my cousin was working the last day for lohttc told us that there's 'something else' besides us staying here. (she's now working in some kilang in melaka.. reason for her to quit was looking for a job that's suitable for her cert...). well been noticing nayya saying there's bubu in everytime i get the jitters, u know the spooky feeling sometimes we have... i mean, you do know that we have a grey spectacled leaf monkey in my parents house back in sg udang. she's quite scared of it.. or maybe it has always been another creature besides it. she's been telling me its in the house (sg udang). but i always thought its because she's scared of the real bubu.

so back to my story..ayang had been cleaning the sauna room. we felt we need to make a change with the room, new paint, new arrangement and all, it was then that ayang had been getting headaches, just maybe its because of the paint, and us feeling rather not-so-well feeling..then nayya kept on saying there was bubu near the staircase, outside the door of our room when its dark, the last time i knew she was serious was when we ate kinda early dinner in our small dining room or area, in between the sauna and facial room, she was pretty scared looking in the sauna room, after the facial room. i said ok.. lets go inside. so you see lohttc is divided into front and back, the front part is our hall, office and 1 service room. the rest of the service thingy is at the back, between the front & back there's the door. so, back would have our sauna room, spa room, facial/massage/crystal healing room and the kitchen plus a small room for the clothes to be hang and at the end of it a staircase...

ok, to me before saying that's there bubu or some ghost, we have 2 versions... one is monkey-like.. like my nayya is seeing, k sha felt & her son saw and the lady.. who told her name to 2 girls.. my ex-worker... same name... huh... writing this down makes me feel not so good. nyways, i always felt something's not right. so whenever we wanna go pee or get our drinks its always with company... i used to bring nayya to the back to wash up the dishes or cook or do whatever futya on the other hand i'd leave her to her ayah... so i had been penakut jugakla. but actually i had been doing like bathing both my kids at the same time, leaving futya after bathing her then nayya, then me... so its like a routine. not knowing all along my kids could see this ugly creatures... ooo bad me. i dont want to be superstitious.... u know had it just been adults maybe i just keep it to myself, but nayya is seeing it, so i take it seriously. i know my kids... at this age lies are just quite not in their mind. being nayya, she is pretty accurate with her infos. cerewet and sensitive and quick.

u see it's fav place is the saune room. then the facial.. whatever it is its the back!! but when ayang cleaned up sauna room it started to get pretty upset..according to my cousin.. so then only nayya started to say more often of this creature. it seems it is scaring her.

then there comes the 'winning this place' over period... from the new year up till now. its like a war here. we called a ghost buster, did some ghost busting ourselves, got more serious with our prayers, got more protective with our kids, go out a lot just to cheer nayya up, got more sensitive with this entity... first i got headaches, nightmares, hot while praying, quran being recited all the time.. up till now..., many things...

but it just got more power when we gat to our nerves... it entered into our room.. i call our room as our base. ahahaha... its like war here.

up till now nayya is still seeing it. sometimes we confront it.. by reciting some verses..ayat-ayat ruqyah, sometimes we just close nayya's eyes and said to her to say 'au'dzubillah..', 'pergi, ni rumah nayya!'

its still a fight here. like ayang said.. this is a genie, either it is a muslim or kafr, if it is muslim, sholeh or not. whether it is a tool for the devil or not. so whatever the outcome, we still have to be aware and watch ourselves. not to be shaken in our faith. the trick is always on how we tackle this.

so just noting this down not to make anyone scared or have to believe in it. just to jot down at some point in nayya's life, she got see some pretty nasty looking creatures that her mama and ayah would never want her to see, ever. but she had seen, and her reaction is just so matured. she didn't get any fever, she didn't cry, just said, nayya takut....poor little nayya.

2008 anyone??

2007-12-25T00:36:00.000+08:00

ah the holidays of the year end. yup its coming to an end. what have we gained this year? what have we lost? all new year's resolution for 2007 fulfilled?

time to reflect? look back? or to move forward?

think i've just lost a bit of sanity, time!, a little fat somewhere.., a pair of my old 7 year old carlo rino shoes, ah, to caount them all means more time lost..

somehow i've gone a little bit wiser over things. maybe its the hormones that's making things clearer. ahahaha... just gave birth (like 5 months ago!)... so now making moves, slowly picking up the pieces i've been throwing them carelessly. faham? dun have to

well updates now.
nayya
is now expert in putting the right shape for the rite holes, (nomore doing the shortcut way, simply open the lid dump everything there). can sing.. making sentences more than just 2 words, but 3. can express and say her thoughts out. will say "NAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK" strongly.. showing authority.. she has her own will. then again that's part of growing up. wanting to be treated with respect, am my own self.... but she's just wonderful, a little bit of explanation would change her mistakes or tone or anything...maybe soon will teach her to potty. just am loving her even more by the day...

futya
comel.. makes her busuk look when she's in a good mood. already on her way to crwling world. just now saw her almost sat on her own. so now moves like a cacing.. eats.. tapi when full would cry. ngantuk cries, o'ok cries, but she's the kind with just a little bit of attention, she would just smile back... so its ju st ok.

ahh dah ngantuk... tetido2 sambil menulis nih.... pics later bile rajin lagi...
wassalam

sleeping potion

2007-11-29T22:49:00.000+08:00

aaa... the art of putting your babies to sleep.

funny as it may sound we have found the best way to put nayya and futya to sleep... ear picking!! futya would just fell asleep almost immediately....

just we did just that. but alas i couldn't keep my mouth shut, so nayya ended up sleeping with wonder super power juice!!! heheheh...

went to penang last weekend. ahhh. u tell me how traveling with to babies feel like. its like trying to juggle with the roads, food time, milk time, tucking to bed time at any time of the day mind you, in a moving vehicle!!of course we ende going to chowrasta - when nayya was sleeping, night market - when both were sleeping, fish park ( hahaha - aquarium) - when both were just asleep for a few minutes ... both immediately awoke when arrived - and surprisingly not only nayya enjoyed looking at the fishes, futya too was really admiring at them.. following each fish's movements...oo we went to jalan gurney seaside road... both enjoyed the wind and effect of seaside air., shopping for food for nayya...tu je nothing else mind you.. time is always the key factor in travelling with babies ... they have to have their quality sleep time! and the last was taking the ferry... nayya enjoyed it very much when we came to the other side she didn't want to go into the car...

all in all its kinda good experience. of course we left mama somewhere else in penang. hehehehe...

four month

2007-11-13T12:35:00.000+08:00

aa... my little futya is already 4 months last (sunday)! guess what she can do now.

she woke up last sunday, then she did her turn! her first complete turnover! before like a week or so, she was practicing turning..and turning, but it was just 3/4 way done... hehe... guess she just wanted to keep up with her kakak. nayya did her turnover 2 days after her fourth month.

and what was the other thing?? ooo we gave her first solid or semi solid last sunday too... hm, what was it? sweet potato. she loved it. was going all excited... tak sabar nak tunggu food masuk.. but her first mouthful she just let the food stayed outside her mouth... lidah terkeluar je.. like feeling what's this weird feeling on my tongue?? then ma said give her air. she made a whale's fountain... the water was cold plus the spoon was cold too so she just spit it out.

today is already the fourth day after her rollover thingy even when she's sleeping she would turnover then cry of course! coz why am i upside down....uwaaaaaa...

this one is not the same as nayya.. so futya is more rajin. yelah being the second, so she's less manjeee...

i guess i didn't say about her 'ramah' part. she loves to to smile, that's one thing,

and yes nayya is becoming a good sister.... if her adik cries she will be the first to run for her. tu la sape kate there will be rivalry.. serious rivalry... ada la sikit2 when she wants to sleep ke, when her toys being given to futya ke.. ahahaha...

aaa well, the more the merrier. tula was afraid things would not be ok with the second one coming so soon after the first. but its just...just even better. there's always room, even when i thought how can i love another, and another and another???...

till then, btw, the video is how futya's crying face look.

wut?

2007-11-13T12:23:00.000+08:00

Finding words.

It occurred to me that in order for me to say whatever I think is debating in my mind is exceptionally wordless. I am not saying verbally, but as in writings. I have these wonderful ideas. Yet I have no idea on how to put them in writings. Then they just slipped away. Not being said nor written. Take this one example, I just had finished reading the “Farseer Trilogy”, then it became clear to me that somehow our lives can be ‘wrapped up’ in our heritage and our family stories would be sung by our generations forever.. Or something like that. I finished reading that trilogy back in 2002. I begun with.. ‘As I finished reading the Farseer Trilogy,I...’. So I think I myself would never know what was it that I was trying to say. Some revelation for me, but left neither unsaid nor digested by the young, newly ‘educated’, naive me. By this time, that knowledge is just part of me, so much so I just take them as part of my life, just as how I understood that eating cookies will always be nice when I dip them in my tea or Milo. When I got the knowledge? How ecstatic I was? Both can never be explained.

Actually, now my problem has gone even deeper. My train of wise, beautiful, matured, yes, my revelation thoughts, understanding over things in life cannot be explained verbally, I cannot say them out loud, I cannot explain myself. That is even worse, isn't it?. I would begin my conversation by giving one kind of stupid statement, which is always my mistake. Then the response I would get ‘wut’? Then, I just stopped explaining. My inner self would say, ‘aaa...will never understand’.

Thus, my thoughts would be well, one day they will understand the way I do. Or maybe I would say to myself, “Give them time, Insya-Allah they will see it”.

Now when I tell someone or anyone about this, then the answer I would know, you know, I already know them. ‘You have a block in you’, ‘you need to do more exercise with your communication skills’, ‘you should see yourself positively’, the answer goes on forever.

That’s the thing. I understand we live in a community. We have to mix, talk, socialize, and do all the things humans do. So that we become human. Heck what am I talking about here? That’s it. I cannot explain it. Or the other way round, I just think you would understand... somehow.

This is my challenge.

For now.

Finding words.

Words to explain myself so that people do not say I am aloof, dreamy.

minal aidil wal faizin..almost 4 months futya, nayya 1 year 20 months

2007-11-02T23:31:00.000+08:00

nayya futya in one stroller, jusco
nayya, futya, safar... bobo'
futya.. ada muke benggali?? ahahaha.. like nayya when she was 3 months
futya syle atas nana... with nayya see that rose??
futya bertudung dgn wak myda... hehehe

futya hanan. she's already 3 and almost 3/4 weeks old.. soon will be 4 months. this coming 11th nov.

her pics.. prolly have seen 'em in aimi's or hana's or ayang's blog..

her thingy.. hehehe... well, she's different from nayya in the sense she can go from one hands to the other not crying.. senyap je.. hehehe... she will cry only when she's hungry or shleepy.. or now when she's sick.

she's now having fever, cough, blocked nose, bloatedness... poor little thing.just now her temp was 40degrees celc. now its a bit lower. really she has been making me really tired. i too am having fever. my taste bud has been out for almost a week now. food really taste nothing. before it was nayya.. she was really burning up.. her temp was 40 for 4 days.. she was almost admitted to the hospital... nayya has never in her life been that sick.. usually if she was having fever.. she would jump up n down... like she was ok.. but last week, she was not herself.. no smiles. crying every time she was up.. fretting almost all the time. having body aches, thank god now she can express herself better.. she would say..' semut' or 'akit' to her legs. or simply hit her head with her hands.. as a sign of having headaches. the weight she gained when she was in medan.. was lost. in simply 5 days. now am trying to get her appetite and weight. i'm really hoping futya would not be that sick.

for me after futya came into our life, boy i have been bz.. not bz with work, but bz with adapting, filling and getting use to 2...

now futya's handling woes is that sometimes she cant be handled by anyone else 'cept her mama. but had it been with nayya, at her age.. i simply couldn't do anything...

oo yes.. details of her birth... she was 3.75 kg.. half a kilo more than nayya.. like rite now am still having backache.. and muscles are still weak.. she was heavy!

this time the labour giving birth recovery was cut short by half as compared to my first time. m due date was 8th july. so on monday i was kinda relaxing.. not wanting to rush things up like when it was with nayya. tuesday... ok.. just pain a little... nothing much.. but that nite, baba insisted that i go to the hospital... i was arguing.. i was not in pain.. just a little contractions.. they were not consistent... being the degil me.. so what ba did was.. he came back from kl i think, just to send me to the hospital.. like it or not. i had to go... ahahahaha....

so... gedebuk, gedebak... i was admitted to the hospital at about 11.. my cervix was only 2 cm open. contractions was every 20-25 mins. the dr said to my mom and me.. she will deliver maybe in subuh. so didn't want me to go back coz hosp and house is 45 mins apart.. if things are not going well i may be giving birth somewhere else... not in hosp.

ok.. i was sent to my room at about 12. aimi was staying with me. ayang went back coz nayya had to have either one of her parents with her. so ma said we'll come tomorrow at 5 ok...

they made v.e., i think that was the cause of the labour to really started getting closer, i mean, the contractions. first i was being just cool about it. aimi was asking are u ok kakak??? i said am ok. its just contractions. then at 1 i had to go the toilet.. after that the contractions got worse. then at 2 or 2.30 again to the loo... worse.. they are getting closer... a about 3 i think, aimi woke up n called ayang.. saying i was in pain... a lot of pain, ayang said ask the nurse. then she called ba... after that she called the nurse. dr came to see me, said opened 6 cm... time to admit to birthing ward. so was wheeled to birthing ward at about 3.30 am. aimi stayed outside. i was in pain rite.. first i said to aimi .. hold my hands... sakit sgt ni...then, when pain got worse she gave me her hands.. i said.. no don't hold me!! ahahahah... bad me.

in the room the nurses was trying to prepare me.. i was like aaa.... painfulll.... aaaa, what are u doing????!!!, then ...aaaaaaa, aaaaaaaa....... breath.... aaaaa.... then, can u make then headrest higher??????, then, aaaa.....aaaa....., hehehe.... what angry me i have turned into. then one of them asked do u want that loughing gas?? (forgot the medical name)... yes anything to relieve this pain...aaaaa....aaaaaa.....god its not working???? !!!!! .. saying i cant have the gas... actually i was in pain, so i couldn't inhale properly... then one of them said like this take a deep breath then the gas will come out. i just said yes.. just let this contraction be done first....

it was crazy... they didn't even had the time to put on the baby's heart monitoring machine on, then, at about 4.15 or earlier... was not looking at time .. how could i?? the dr came. said, maryam... i will break your water bag ok?? i was like yes.. anything.. in the irritated tone.
actually i was already having the 'bearing down' phase... baby had reached the coming out canal.. ahahah.. my crazy terms. so, when the dr did that, she said her head's already engaged... dah turun la.... maryam i want you to push.... aaaaa....... now i kinda forget that part... did i push or i was being angry? i think i pushed... i just said... i think i'm gonna let go... it was really feeling of wanting to b.o., so i just pushed... then they said again... don't let go.. i think about 3-4 times pushing then futya came out... its a girl... my first words were 'alhamdulillah'... its over. then only the specialist came... too late. i already gave birth. 4.30 am

know what?? they gave me something i thing oxytocin for the uterus to shrink.. that was painful drug.. heheheh... like having contractions again... then i had to stay in the. ward for the next 2 and a half hours, it was cold, uncomfortable and painful. i was tired yet i couldn;t do anything.. they gave me futya hold give milk and hold. i fell asleep with her... but not a deep one, coz fear of dropping her. then one of the nurses took futya away... just to let me rest.

then aimi came in at about 6.40 am.. she didn'nt know till that time. so did ayang.. he got to know at somewhat 7 am... just imagine... nayya, everyone was in the room, futya... noone... wuwuwu... nobody watched ... but all is well... my labour was short one.

futya had bruises on her cheeks... coz she was chubby, so in the birth canal her face was a bit squashed??... her eyes too had blood clots.but all went away after 2 months. but she has a lot of birthmarks, ate her back, on her hands, legs..

she has curly hair. thinner lips, think she's quite like nayya... just a bit different in her eyes, hair n lips..

after having her in our little family for almost 4 months... nayya really loves her sister.she would be quite protective with futya, not everyone can hold her sister. if that person she doesn't like the person no can do.. she would cry for me and bring that person to me to give futya back to me.. she's not jealous of futya.. knows when to ask for attention, she too breastfeed so, always waits for her turn. only time she would just be a little impatient is when she's sleepy.. but i kinda know ways to deal with both.

ah well. think that's enaf update??? ehehehe... sorry i have been so lazy in updating and making excuses is not good rite?? the thought of updating is alwas there. but my mood simply was not cooperating.

selamat hari raya aidil fitri... maaf zahir batin.... minal aidil wal faizin...

nanti kalau rajin will put in some raya pics k...

menghitung hari... detik demi detik...

2007-06-20T00:09:00.000+08:00

i am rite now counting days to d' day...

my feelings. already having cold feet. the contractions. the hospital staff. the labor. the pushing. all of it are really making me feel not so easy. experience they say makes one wiser, but i think with giving birth, it will always be that feeling...the one when you just would be totally numbed.

its not easy.. unless one has been doing it for 12 or 15 times... ahahaha.... then things may be easy... is it?

not to say i am not ready to see my baby, not that, just can i skip the giving birth part??

alas... wish me all the best. for my time experience was not that great. now the second time with just a year and almost a half difference, its kinda not helping.

what was it that i want to talk about? my baby is moving... i guess just wanting to menyampuk!! her sister is already asleep kan. so, now its her time to buzz in while her mama is sitting in front of the computer.

i wanted to say about life i guess. on my part. but that's it. i guess, its just hard. that's all.

so again wish me all the best.. for me, baby and nayya... their ayah too... so that he'd be strong to help me and be with me.... i hope my 2 babies would go along very fine. been seeing nayya so lonely and ever willing to make friends with any 'baby' according to her, even if they are a lot older than her, might as well she make friends with her own sister. rite??? been seeing how naughty kids nowadays can be, lagi2 kalau budak kampung. very rude and uncultured...

reflecting

2007-06-02T22:43:00.000+08:00

been reading my blog when pregnant with nayya... hehehe... am not doing justice eh??? all the time as talking bout her... this time hmm....

wat can i say. i think life aS a mommy is kinda time taking and i somehow cant find that space for me to do blogging. actually time is spent more on doing work.. which sometimes i think is nothing much or sleeping la kan... am pregnant duh!!! of course fatigue is in the book..

aaa, i just feel tired thats all. maybe its the emotions thingy or body wise. but cant think of anything to say. i have some oils to make and some things to prepare for tomorrow. all the body aches are so obvious right now. but nothing gain when i just pengsan kan...

telor....

2007-05-31T18:29:00.000+08:00

aaaa... alas i've broken my telorrr for a few months...

tu la we can say that months of silence means some self renewal was taking place.. ahaha... excuses.

well, am right now 8 months preggie. in terms of strength, maybe b'coz i have my sweet nayya to look after so.. am quite less manja than when i was with her.

my sweet nayya now expert in walking la kan.. obviously. she's already a year and 4 months.. celebrated her 1.4 yr same date with ayah....now she's on her becoming or should i say realising that she's another person.. not same with her mama. knows how to merajuk... like jatuhkan diri when she feels not treated well.

knows that she's being scolded... liek this morn, she did something that really made me upset.. waaa, she cried so badly. even tho i kinda think that she doesn't understand.. duh.. me and my adult's mind. even cats know that they're being scolded...

she's now learning to talk.. altho now she babbles more than saya things that we understand. but whenever she wants her susu (milk)... she would show to where the powder is and say 'tsu tsu'.. heheh... or whenever she played with things that can be opened or closed, she would say 'thutup' or 'jatuh' or 'dueduek' according to situations la.. now avery weekneds whenever we go back to her nana nani's house, she would follow her nana's morn walk in the garden.. pointing at the plants..'pokok' hehehe....

now her ayah.. had tought her arabic words such as mirror = mir'ah, light = misbah, fan = mirwahah ... so on. so whenever her ayah say these words she would show to ones relevantla... pandai anak mama!!! she understood... i thought it was too much for her. but she just catches up quickly la...

ooo... we now are staying here in lohttc... so we have many stairs... the other day she fell off 3 steps... my heart like... stopped a bit.. i was bz in the kitchen, she lost her balance while sitting on the door step.. then, was tumbling... usually i was quick in catching her falling.. but this time i couldn't do anything... tau tau je dah terjelepek kat lantai... aa....

well... guess actually so much to say and catch up...

but i stop for now. nayya now knows how to show her jealousy while her mama on the computer. she's a n it gul too....

pics later ya...

got some nice ones when she was in her atuk n nenek's place.

happy birthday to me...

2007-02-18T23:15:00.000+08:00

happy birthday to me!!! my __th ye.. hehehe

at least nobody forgot my birthday this year. ahaha....

am now already 4, think mebbe 5 months pregnant. my baby... is already 1 year. heheh... me bad blogger. didn't update on the birthday itself. what we did was well... get her to wear new dress. which she wore again today for my birthday. the next day bought her bracelet.. which she loves... my baby is so girly2 kind... like all girly2 stuff..

ah.. a year passes by, she already 1 year (and almost a month). cant forget the day she was born.. already tears running down. so tiny and sweet. now sweeter. sometimes you just cant imagine life without her. its like the things that she does touches your heart not just once but many times. sometimes i forgot that she's still tiny... just 1 year.

what is it that makes her special? she shows she loves me... ahahaha... camne la budak kecik camtu leh have that kind of understanding. but she does. so, i hope when her bro (wat kate ayang, ma, hana and aimi) she would be my little angel... insya allah.

so what did i get for my birthday? heheh.. been not getting any presents for many years.. qada' la ni... handphone with camera!! thanks ma ba...

so here are pics of my little sweetheart, (like her name la... ), she 's not wearing anything... now is the el nino time... hot hot... that's the fashion right now

HAPPY NEW YEAR.. and EIDUL ADHA

2006-12-31T21:28:00.000+08:00

her ponytail.... she kinda lost some weight?

back side...

guess where she slept on?

********

while waiting for her mami ai coming back from medan.

yay.. finally nayya is able to walk... a bit la. 3-4 steps. but she did try.when? 28th dec 2006. hehehe... how? her ayah played debu song.. pesta asyik, suddenly she just started to dance.. till her hands move side to side. i didn't tought her that. none of us did. we didn't want her to be exposed to present world of music, u know not wanting to spoil her innocence. so no music except nasyid...so no dancing exposure la kan. but she loves music. a lot. any song with a good rhythm can make her dance to it.

well.. back to my story. then she got the mood to stand up and looked at me and her ayah, then started moving forward to her sleeping couch, in our office. wa... my feelings was .. wow.. then she did it again.

so 11 months nayya can toddle. now we just wait till she toddles fully. then will start our new adventure... heheheh. running here and there trying to watch over her...

i saw today her 5th tooth. hehehe... left beside her front middle teeth. lagi gigi...

yeah, rite now she's learning on how to mess up with her food. eating time becomes hard coz she wants to feed herself too. and getting more choosy with her food. i just simply dunno what to give her anymore. any ideas?

happy idul adha. may this year's sacrifice (a big one.. Saddam was executed on eidul adha) would bring more peace in the land of iraq.

on my part. .. hmmm....

and happy new year too. i have my NY's resolution written down in my diary. heheh... hope can achieve them ... amin. indeed a big year for me. am expecting another new member of our family this year. a mixed up feeling..

did i tell u about this time's preg? aaa... totally different. more asam. less wanting to eat.no appetite. kinda. when its time to eat must eat. if not...tummy ache. tummy ache almost all the time. fatigue? kinda. been sleeping a lot at nights. hehe. am not gaining any weight. last time when i was 2 - 3 months preg gained like 5 kgs. ahahaha... well if gain as much weight as i was with nayya i would end up becoming a huge momma!!! ahahaha..

ok enough rantings. ta ta for now

extreme lazynesss....

2006-12-05T17:23:00.000+08:00

ahh well...

nayya now has 4 teeth. been trying to catch her 2 new teeth pics... not able yet. she's now 8 kilos... and loves to use her ayah as her 'kaki' for her to walk. she walks.. with her ayah la... hehehe... ahh.. she knows a few tricks. like what to say when she's on the phone... 'aaalllohhh.. aaaaa aaaa, ayayayaya' hehehehe... will look for the vdo if i recorded it...

the big news, reason to my lazyness extreme..

i think am now 7 or 8 weeks pregnant...not expecting to be this soon. yet, ditakdirkan... rezeki.

what i can say is, nayya is doing quite well...at first she wasn't gaining weight. thought what was wrong.. then got to know. my milk has decreased.. a result from the hormonal changes. was also wondering she was a bit cranky lately (before knowing), coz tak cukup susu laa.. now am watching closely her diet and all. so she gained weight la.. dah bulat balik... slept better.. but still bf'ing. planning to do till end of pg. ahaha... see got my self involved in la leche club forum... i need the support... got many ppl like me... ahahaha

so guys... pray for this baby in tummy to be in good health, nayya a good darling baby too, toddler to be soon, and me ... healthy and strong to go thru this preg... aaa.. the worries i have over my babies...

pics only...

2006-12-01T07:18:00.000+08:00

nayya in morn.... busuk2 terus g keja toys...

while driving in kl... trying to go to low yat for ma's drum... she with her small to big toy

continue her morn play time...with her nearly full diapers..

cont...

uiks... the pics are out of order.. she loves this bunny... in car driving to low yat again...

like this pics, makes her look so ladylike.. hehe

her new toy - singing chair where everything sings, the lamp, book, clock even the chair! & of course the drop a-ball-toy

cheery nayya

bibik and nayya...

some of my masterpieces.... original and unique...

pecah dah telur lepas sebulan...

2006-11-17T12:14:00.000+08:00

haa.. alas i break the telur... ahahaha..... i dont know what came over me.. or maybe i know now...

i got so lazy to even look at the blog.. or anyone's for that matter.... bad me!!

well, quite soon nayya would be 10 months and rite now she already have 2 teeth which are not so tiny compared to the ones growing on the opposite gum!! ahaha... she now officially have 3 and a quarter teeth. coming really soon her fourth teeth. her ability to stand is superb.. she can really stand on her own (with support) on any solid wall, doors, even her new toy, sit on me toy. hehehe... am afraid still no pics for this entry. pray that i wont be this lazy after this entry... heheheh

and this morning, she knows how to play with the drop-a-ball toy... she knows how to take the ball from the tray and drop it thru the net or the other way round.. hehehe.. see she know knows not just 1 trick but many.. she knows how to give the things that she's holding to us. and she's not that clingy to mama and ayah only.. she can now hop to her nana, nani, aunc and aunts. hehehe... so, our little is growing up.. i seem to use up that words too often

nyways.. that's all for now... toodle looooo

oo selamat hari raya!!! if its not too late to say... heheheh

drop a ball

2006-10-05T22:28:00.000+08:00

well... what about it?? raya is coming... so decided to buy some clothes for nayya... just nayya. ahaha...

then some toys for her... basketball drop-a-ball toy. hehehe... and more balls for her. she likes it but she still likes other toys.. like the sink with shiny kepala paip...

am having some probs with camera.. usually i just used aiman's camera... but the charger is missing... somewhere in the house, i guess.

well anyway.. am really having malas week of saying anything...

but already found the charger.. a mami perosok somewhere in the house n thanks to nani who has firasat yang terer.. takyah gune minyak firasat tuu..

off now... will put in some pics soon.. insya Allah...

poo post

2006-09-28T07:00:00.000+08:00

hmm.... selamat berposa eberione...

maybe i've said that.. nyways nayya now is officially a marathon crawler gurl!! yesterday while doing some work in lohttc, her nana came. then he was sitting in the waiting area... i was in da office, so what she did was, crawled to her nana, climbed her nana... took the stuff her nana attracted her with, then brought the stuffs half way in between the office and her nana, mind u by climbing over her nana again... she did it kind of more than 3 times.... and of course she had to climb her nana coz he was sleeping on the lantai !!! in the end she came to me.. merengek... nak susu... maybe coz she was already tired from the marathon thingy...

that was not the first time she did that.. been noticing she'd been doing it lately.... exercising aaa tu.

this is funny... both of us, ayang & me, realise nayya has a poo post... whenever she was standing in the post... she would give her poo look... ahahahah...

ok la.. wanna end this so that her mami can see her pics & little kitty pics...

phone munching 1

phone munching 2

poo post nayya!!

phone muching 3.. terlepas lak gamba ni. ahaha

baby lepak'ing ...

nothing much...

2006-09-26T08:05:00.000+08:00

gosh i'd love to put in some photos.. but ma's comp is not in the loop!! ahahaha.. ie its not connected to the mshome network.. so, uploading the photos are in ma's comp coz her's got multiple hubs for all sorts of memory cards.. ahahaha....

well. nothing much happened i think... nayya is getting much better with standing on her own.. supported tho... sometimes when i see her standing.. i my heart would stopped beating a few times.. she would just lean her body and turned from her back to tummy without holding on to the leaning posts... and just imagine if she falls? hands free.. aaa...

oo, yeah a few days back she was having fever.. and yesterday was a bit feverish. the day before she pinched her fingers in between rehal quran so i think yesterday she had fever because of that.the first time fever, ie, the few days back, i think coz she lost balance from standing by the bed coz she used blanket as her support, and fell.. quite a loud thud on the floor, i was in the bathroom.. am thinking, why would these accidents cause her to have fever? is it just coincidence? i think scientifically, these are nonsence.. for me i dont like to believe on silly stuffs.. but its just not only this time.. before this was also like that. so...

aahh well...

what ever it is, alhamdulillah she's better now.

and happy ramadhan everyone....

these are some pics.. not the ones i wanted to put la..

her fav toy... kunci kerete!!

nayya crawling & her 'busuk' look

...

helwa and her babies

nayya

aimi's dorama, hana back to manipal, nayya is 8 months today

2006-09-22T21:22:00.000+08:00

aaa... what a day today. its nayya's 8-month-birthday... suppose the only 'big' thing that was gonna happen was hana going back to manipal tonite. but alas.. it all started with aimi's laptop being snatched from her room in medan, aiman went to aimi's room in melaka with the japanese sword ... in the thought of running after the thief, who was obviously in medan!! and of course her laptop was snatched & dropped & was with her when all hopes was gone. i can really imagine her being so upset and hysterical.. ahahahah, being the big sis always can see how her little sis & bro acted.. duh..

so morn started with aimi's dorama.. really like dorama la...

malam hana going back..

aaa, i dunno, suddenly i get so mushy2 with me 2 sis's being away.. aaa, i really dunno. maybe momhood is turning me into that person...

ahh, and nayya today, i think for the past these couple of days has been so clingy with hana.. again blood ties do matters.. when hana was really going she just became takmau to hana... like cats i told aimi, when mommy cat realises her baby gonna die, she just ignored the baby.. like as if it's dead. so aimi had the same treatment.. nayya was clingy then she ignored aimi... now hana... poor nayya.. or poor mammies,..heheheh..

so am now feeling rather low... nayya, sleeping...finally after a day of activities... today i took the day off... wanted to spend the day with hana... think, wanted nayya to spend the day with hana. i think it turned out pretty well... she was clingy to hana.

ayah is home, nayya is with teeth... mama is??

2006-09-15T21:36:00.000+08:00

gosh. been so bz these past couple of weeks.havent had time to even read aimi's or hana's blog.. or even to update my blog...excuses.. excuses...

lemme update on stuffs.. first, last sunday, make it like last 2 sundays, my mak ayah medan came.they were from egypt. then, been bz entertaining them... soon after they came, ayang came back from egypt too... so, me plus mak ayah plus ayang been bz loh, went to see matuk in sungai buloh. went to seremban for mak's treatment... de mo ne... still went to clinic to see things were working or not.. duh.. couldn't concentrate on doing anything... so, came back fatigue. dush.. off to bed most of the nites, early.

then after mak ayah went back to medan, which was last monday. went to ikea afterwards, bought stuffs for lohttc. aaa, lohttc.. that's another hanging in the air issue for me... i thought was gonna launch it by the end of this week.. but alas, the majlis is making things tough for me... my place has turned out to be a 'case', been put forth for the police to investigate, before this was the health ministry... duh.. what luck with them..

nyways, ayang came back. nayya had never been so clingy with her ayah... i didn't know she missed him soooo much. whenever she sees her ayah is going out of her sight she'd be restless. her eyes would follow wherever he went. and during her feeds... milk time, whenever she 'lost' her concentration she'd reach for her ayah.. and driving, in the car is a lot worse. she'd screamed wanting to 'drive' with her ayah. its like ayang had been away from her, and she didn't even forget that he is her ayah. so, dont say babies forget... they know family... blood ties does mean a lot.when her ayah wnet to egypt she was just 3 months. now she's 7 going to 8 months.

and yay.. she now has 2 tiny little teeth.. kat bawah.. what's the name of that forgot la.. realised that she had them when i touched her gums.. ehh... what's this hard thing, when was that??

it was thursday, 31st august... remembered i sms to ayang saying she had 2 teeth coming out and little aulia wobbled a few steps, on the same day!!

now after 2 weeks, her teeth has grown... so now its still tiny, but.. more visible.

alas.. pics.. ta da!!

hm... can u see it?? ni ce big grin ehh...

tis one?, obviously rite its there!!

teeth?

she wasn't crying there, its her talking.. baby talk, while showing off her new white thingy

nayya, her drool, teeth, and ayah... see both are showing their teeth..

adding some more.. she can now sit upright easily.. i saw her trying to sit from unstable and falling, rolling over to now, expertly sitting.. she learnt sitting and crawling like speedy gonzales abilities almost at the same time...

the other thing, i think she has added more syllable to her little world of language.. hehehe...

it took me a total of 4 days to write up this entry... silly isn't it??

mama nayya off

2006-08-30T22:44:00.000+08:00

aaa.. today... i got really upset with some ppl.

first, a direct selling guy came up with my mom's jiran to see lohttc. they entered without any salam or saying they wanted to come in... already made me irritated. then the makcik meja came, at almost the same time..

the direct selling guy, letsay his name is ah kaw la... went up, then inspected my room, like its his property or what... then kept on talking on how good the sauna jade thingy is.. bla bla bla... and my place should have only that thing for one room. nothing else should be done in that room... aih, if u wanna say 'i dont want to put my stuff in u'r place', just say so la. dont make stories tooo longgg... so i handled that with irritation and patience too... ok that one settled, the makcik meja, ooh, i asked her to take the tables earlier than expected to cut cost la kan... she said she understood n bla bla bla.. i know how you feel kind of thingy... then i asked her so how bout the payment? she said 'makcik dah bincang dgn rakan kongsi makcik. kami cuma boleh bg kurang 5o rgt je',... what the heck... then i got really upset... the makcik was playing game like saying me stupid one... making my losses more painful la.. duh... aaaa, then after my argument. i said if that's the case i would want the tables to be there back, at the carnival, she said 'tak bolehla, kite dah ambil gune lori, nanti rugi duit minyak la'. aiyooo... reallyla some ppl. nyways. said fine, 'saya rugi makcik. rupanya makcik ni takleh runding.saya cakap semalam camne bayaran, makcik cakap boleh runding'... i accidentally raised my voice then. then she gave me like less 150 from the original price... for 3 days of rental of some cabuk tables and chairs... aaa, saket hati saya.with that i can simply buy new ones u know....

well, so that's how pissed off i was today...

again i was feeling rather tired from the preparation of the carnival, then the carnival thingy.... really.. made me one miserable mommy..

to tell u, nayya was also a bit cranky.. ahaha.. my biz partner katakan.. when she's sleepy she'd be cryin with nothing to console her. then when she was enough with food, again cried...

well, she was sure enough tired last time. last 2 days she slept like a log.. like the beatles song.. now in my head....'its been a hard days night, i should be sleeping lik a log...'

ahahahah, tonite is merdeka nite.. i should be duduk in my stall.. maybe there'd be ppl... de mo ne, its raining now!!!! thank god decided not to go.. its quite heavy....

i really dont understand.. i want to put pics, now blogspot not being that friendly... duh...

so answered u'r question mama sarah... my biz is just starting ... insya-allah will do shop-warming (usually house warmingkan..), next week or so....

karnival kemerdekaan

2006-08-30T21:49:00.000+08:00

sorry for not saying anything for the past few days... hmm ain't that weird?? me saying sorry over me not jotting anything... well, i feel like have been doing some injustice of really denying the existence of the internet altogether.. have been really tired these few days. computer is seen as a mere workstation with no other uses, like the internet...even handphones are seen as something so objective.. not as means of communication... ahahahah

been busy the past week..have to get myself prepared for the karnival kemerdekaan which started last sunday. had to make oils, made 'em, packed 'em, labelled 'em...sounds easy, yet.. it was really a lot of 'leceh' work...so had 2 girls helpde me. not helped la, but paid to help..

anyways.. my nayya.. poor little girl, had to work with mommy.. she had to stay at lohttc for many hours and got 'infected' with the aromatherapy smell everytime i was doing my blending... so each day she'd get the instant effect of the blending, eg, when i was doing my lullaby, sensual..she slept deeply..when i did my ekspresi or some of the tujuh tenaga..she got realy excited. but the best reaction was when my worker was bottling the no mo stres.. she literally laughed non stop... aiman had to bring her down.. she got really hyper.. then soon after when she got into the car, fell asleep immediately.

that was last week. this week... aahh.. i had to to the carnival thingy. the first day, i ended up going back at about 10 pm. i was really upset coz my dearest nayya had to stay out of house the whole day, and got home really late.. in my mind... i was so upset, got to the point of crying in front of the crowd there...i wanted to go home earlier, but i couldn't drive on my own, coz my house and the carnival was too far for me to handle with a crying baby... but i drove on my own anyway.. with nayya on my hands..first wriggling like ulat.. then slept..

the next day i got home earlier. at about 8.30 was home. went there late. like 4 pm. ahahaha...

but today.. .i didn't go at all.. only went there for a short time - to pick my stuffs there...ahahaha...no one was going ti the carnival laa... what a waste..
well so much for the preparation and all... anyways, like what i told to the makcik meja (i called her that coz i rented her tables for the carnival n dunno her name), loss some money.. a lot jugak, but i gain experience...my mom added, n experience is not cheap.. ahaahahaha...

sorrryy soo.. i wanted so much to put pics... i've tried a few times, but it can't upload... so, maybe because its from ma's computer... so again me already malas.... this is suppose to be yesterday's story... will put in today's story...

mami ai & helwa

2006-08-25T23:50:00.000+08:00

aaa sedih mami aiii takde... missing her already... kalau tak adela makcik yang kene kacau all the time or at least have the thought that she's in her room dok surfing or watching some series on her lsptop. now, thinking tht she's truggling on her own.. wuwuw, to tell u the truth, i felt it the moment she went to klia yesterday morn.. i stayed home didn't send her. i think nayya felt that too. even busuk acted differently. wuwuwuwu..

little sis was always close by.. not far from us. now she's far, 5 years tu in medan.

nayya will be 5 years old by the time she finishes...

hmm...

the other thing helwa dah bersalin.. 6 babies, 1 died. comel2 baby die. so now am a nenek... hehehe... hope her babies can survive la. but am a bit worried bout her, she's like too tired to do anything. hmm...

time of birth: 5.17 pm,place of birth: dapur belakang, bidan: acik..

wuwuwu... none of us was at home.

lohttc...soon to be loh...

2006-08-19T13:02:00.000+08:00

hmm i have done writing a lot, and uploaded 10 pics.. all lost, coz of genius me... so, therefore... i wanna rest a bit... to unwind my frustrations over this.. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

'mata die aa, mate die aaaa....'

2006-08-16T23:10:00.000+08:00

finally... am moving stuffs from home to office.

but am feeling rather tired. hmm... like me the malas mode can be switched on at any time now.. aahahaha...

yeah.. nayya is finally crawling on all 4... yet when i said ppl here, they would say, she had already been doing that?? yea la..she was swimming not crawling.. ish ish... officially, 16th august.

so give her 1 more week, she'll be 7 months.. time really flies.

today i went to this furniture shop, mellika or is melica? so the auntie there wanted to see nayya, ma took nayya with her, oh yes, i went with ma & nayya, to buy some office stuffs. she took one look and.. aaaa, 'mata die aaa, manyak aaa, manyak basarrrr' with her hands going reaching and not reaching la, just trying to exactly measure nayya's eyes. 'aaiyooo, mata die haa...mata die haa...' again, 'aiyoo... manyak cantekkkk....putih la...' ... aaaaa the usual things any chinese lady or guy would say to nayya, and with this, she would get toys or anything for her, free... 'untuk baby chomell'. but the auntie in this shop noticed one other thing... nayya is active. 'manyak lasak ye'....

well, nayya is kinda her way, cheeky... ahahaha... she loves papers..., pen, cameras, and the very much loved by her are handphones... she would chuckled and laugh with joy, even when its out of her reach, when she sees a handphone. yes, mine had already been 'drowned' by her.so rite now am using her mamu hilmi handphone, but alas, like aimi said my handphones are getting 'canggih'er, at least... hehehe. the latest thing nayya ate is her mamu aiman's adapter camera to computer, the original sony adapter.. now when put into the camera's butt.. (heheh, my term...sorry), the computer cant detect... fortunately the memory stick can be removed... but, the not so nice thing 'bout it is, that would make me, the malas mom to not upload the pics directly onto her computer... and makes her blog not so interesting.... again, excuses, excuses...

stumbling nayya

2006-08-14T22:04:00.000+08:00

hmm.. stumbling nayya...

she stumbles a lot nowadys. i find it rather hard for me to just sdee & accept. but alas, she kept on falling, without my hands to hold her eache time. the worst was yesterday when she fell off the bed. aaa... my heart just stopped for a second. i just saw her sleeping on the bed.. soundly. then suddenly, i heard her body fell..god,i was almost cried.. of course i did. i made sure that the bedside had blankets all over, only 1 small area was not covered. she fell onto that part.

now, since i want to to my work..i just put her on the floor. no more her on the bed alone. its either with aimi or on the floor.. well dearest mami ai is really going.. aaaa....climax, anti climax..& climx again.. really wasn't expecting her going so soon... didn't anticipate she would be going so soon..

aaa yes, lohttc is really almost ready. so, i'm gonna be working in a another place soon... aa...

a relief & a bit anxious.

post accident 2

2006-08-13T21:36:00.000+08:00

the road where we were crossing to -

cool baby with freaked out mom - talking to someone

broken mirror glasses of the black wira aeroback

a restaurant i saw, before accident

the main road - where the black wira aeroback was coming from

i got crazy over knowing that the problem of my being too malas putting pics, duh i can put many pics at one time la... not one and had to wait for it to upload..duh me!!

and i can change the fonts, and colors.. if only i'm a bit more adventurous with reading and seeing everything...

police station, nayya uncomfy already

slept, just woke up

the police station

hungry, shleepy uncle,didn't hear nayya was screaming at all...:P

mami ai - right after accident face.. ahahaha....

post accident

2006-08-13T16:43:00.000+08:00

accident... yesterday, we met with an accident, me, nayya, & aimi.

took me 1 whole day to know how i felt.

hurt? none - me - just some strained muscles on left arm...and a little back pain (has always been there since pre delivery)

how it happened?
it was raining.. rather heavily, front mirror was a bit foggy.. usual thing.. aimi was driving. was looking for a place to have lunch. we were in melaka raya area. i was looking for place to buy stuff for swarovsky crystals. ma said it somewhere in melaka raya. found it & then i was famished. so, aimi said if went to mp, then it would take us a longer time to park & look for place to eat... why not just somewhere in here, yeah, why not... so... branch road, curvy road... short span, then a main road, mind you, we were from the branch road crossing it...didn't stop... voila!! i was at the back, left side, i saw a black car coming fast at us... was feeding nayya.knew it was gonna hit us, hard.. held nayya's head.strong grip. my head hit the other side of the car.. didn't know the impact was gonna be that hard.

aftermath.. nayya cried. i was in shock, checked up on her.. see if anything was wrong. nothing. alhamdulillah. 5 minutes in the car. then. strong. i had to act fast. think.think what to do. called aiman. called ba to ask for abg madi. then settled... took like the whole afternoon. it happened about 1.20 pm. got home 5.45 pm

ok.. i didn't know i was gonna be emotional over this. no one was hurt. but. when it happened, i knew that it was gonna be bad as i was looking at the car.i just had the bring-it-on-feeling, i'll deal with it. so it happened. now, i think, i feel, what was i thinking? i had nayya with me. had it been with the other cars, it could have been worse.i could have lost her.

thinking of it makes me feel like crying. again.

pics above are taken prior going out of house

the branch road..

hmm..... malas too???

2006-08-12T02:50:00.000+08:00

i am in a malas..very malas mood

nayya is now learning how to stand on her own... she uses me as her main standing post. ahahaha... so all she would do is reach for me and climb me!!!

and she now can really scream. like today she would just do nothing but screamed...
to tell u the truth, i have been kinda on a low side. it'd sleep a lot, so whenever nayya was sleeping, i'd do too. and at nights, i'd sleep early, like 9 i think, same time as hers. so its kinda a mean scary cycle for me. even in the afternoon i'd sleep.

i have so many things to think about and do about.. am using my baby as my excuse of not being able to move!! maybe the word is am still adjusting to having nayya and to manage things even if am a little weeny bit tired. am so used to not being tired, and being relaxed when wanna do something serious, so this is one spot i have to learn to adapt to. my my, if not, i'd be telling u 1 thousand stuff about nayya.

well, nayya is improving a lot on her falling skills... she has been going thru 'bouts of stumbling many times...as all babies would go thru.. i had this one day of irritatingly irratable when she fell, while someone was watching over her. my thought was, why couldn't anyone just take care of her for a short time... it was kinda me being irrationally, irrational?? hehehe... no it was just kkinda timebomb in me, i was tired a bit. well anyway,now, she knows how to stand at the bedside, when she's on the floor, using the bed as her standing post, me being a little bit wiser, put all around her pillows, so that she wont fall on the hard evil floor!! heheh, & yeah her crawling skills, nope, she swims on the floor, no crawling yet.. just swimming... i think she wants to skip that part... just go thru the walking & running phase i guess.

i'd say, she is now more cheeky & naughty... cheekier than ever.. oh ,yes, been feeding her as many 3 times daily.. she's just eat different kinda food for all 3 meals.. just imagine how cheeky that is??? she loves air kelapa, found out yesterday..

well that's about it... me and my malas moments.. eheheheh...

nayya amik bakul tepi katil...

2006-07-30T22:09:00.000+08:00

nayya nak amik benda tepi katil aaa

slide show

2006-07-30T21:11:00.000+08:00

see aimi's blog for day out to court's mammoth... got u tube of nayya forcing out paper from mouth.. heheh

nyways. this is the slide show thingy that i promised hana of.. upon request laaa
u know the song that gets to my head everytime i opened aimi's blog... wishin' & hopin' .. la & la .. & laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.. its making me aaaaa..

mamu aiman & nayya & her new shoes, red dress, red hat

hehehe

2006-07-28T18:23:00.000+08:00

You Are 14 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

pics no still can do... wuhhuhu

2006-07-27T21:44:00.000+08:00

well pics ye...

i think just now i just captured on how nayya is trying to crawl...slide..crawl... & reached her goal.. mama!!

i just simply wish i can just click & drag the pics into this blog..hmmm, when can that happen? i am too lazy to wait for each picture to load onto the entry... lazy me...

today, she wore, red with white polka dots sexy dress.. it has a red hat which matches her dress... & aiman+aimi's new sandals for her. so her nani was saying.. she was looking bright & red.. so everyone would turn their heads to see her... ahahaha, cam 'lady in red...' she matched her mamu aiman la.. her mamu wore hi phedora hat.

see hana, i've told u the phots thingy doesn't want to upload.. rite now its tergantung (hanging.. ahahah) je...ok i gave up hana... gomen

I WANT MY MOM!!!

2006-07-25T23:20:00.000+08:00

she wants mommy only.

went to maksu's house last sunday. matuk made a kenduri arwah for our late grandpa & late tok nu & late khalanab & faisal. matuk said, today is 33 years after our tok's death.. hmm...
well, when we arrived, my grandma straight went after her, then everyone was immediately all over her.. she just got up from sleep. aaa, knowing nayya, she gets very blank & blur whenever she wakes up. its like there's a phase of sleeping while waking up. so, she would be looking at things blankly. but mind you, even in her groggy state she would reach for anything close to her.. heheh..

ok back to my story. so, she simply cried, & cried. then i took her for ashort moment, maknngah took her away from me, saying that, let your mama eat first. so, she, went crying even louder!! so, i had to gobbled up anything i can, as quickly as i could. then took her. aaa. she was so upset, that even when i took her, she'd still cry. took her away from all the ppl, went upstairs to emeel, ekhail & 'eif play room, she looked around, & cried, maybe in her mind 'this is not my house..uwaaaaa'

well, the day passed, then evening came, she was ok. makngah was upset saying that now nayya recognizes her as monster, coz she took nayya away from me. hehehe. but maksu just got to hold nayya for a long time.

now i noticed that she gets a bit moody during the day, but evening better, good mood, smiling & laughing away. mama said in homeopathy that's lycopodium behaviiour. so, she's back to square one, her first remedy was lycopodium...

btw, she's now in the 'perak' moment now. i-want-no-one-else-but-my-mom. then-only-i-can-smile-at-you.. ish ish.

Yay, she's 6 months already...

2006-07-22T22:11:00.000+08:00

nayya is 6 months today!!

hmm, she went to the pantai, Pengkalan Balak, to put her small tiny little feet on the sand... courtesy of nana la...celebrating her half a year old!!!some time in the morn...

the rest was waiting for her nani doing her stuff in MT...

should have taken pics of LOHTTC just now.. just to see the before & after the place is done rite?? well maybe i'll do it later.

she moves fast!!she loves making 'suicide falls', i'd say, coz whenever she sees me near the bedside & she's on the bed, she would immediately come to me. & 'gracefully' throw herself off the bed.. but i catch her all the time. it seems her have-to-get habit is becoming more forcefull.. hehehe.. so i have to be more carefull, not to have her beautiful & tiny head or any parts of her to hit the floor.

some pics to just spam the blog.. ':P

no pics daa.. hang.. so again me malas to wait daaa... sayonalaaa....:)

no more measles...

2006-07-21T15:47:00.000+08:00

today... Alhamdulillah, no more rashes...

hmm, nayya has gone so fast in her precrawling move, she just went passed the rows of pillows i put around her and got herself to mami ai's laptop.

i was doing my work in the room next to mine, so once in awhile i would check on her. always, she would just be sweetly sleeping or makes her calling cries...pick me up cries. but this time, quiet as she was, got herself a quater on top of aimi's laptop. thank goodness i put it very close to the bed, if not, i would have a worse shock of my life, compared to when she got measles!!!

so now she's grounded!!! must sleep in her cot, if not i must sleep with her... now that's a choice....:P, double sleeping time for me.

i'm just hoping her episodes of having mama to sleep with her whenever she's asleep is over, coz her measles are rather gone...

nayya measles... aaaaaa

2006-07-19T18:06:00.000+08:00

so, yesterday went to MT for dengue check up for nayya, 4 days, still fever hadn't gone from her. so was worried. but alhamdulillah results was negative. so, all i had to do was wait till her fever goes away....that was yesterday.

aaa.... today, TODAY... i woke up with a shock of my life, she got red spots on her body!!! i was thinking this must be measles. her fever was still there, just a little feverish. i tried to called kak jee, knowing that she had a 1 year plus baby, maybe she could tell me what was wrong with nayya, ma, i couldn't called, coz bintulu was tpt jin bertendang!!... i wanted to bathe her, but was sceptical, what if water makes her rashes go worse??? silly me.

well, i was thinking i should go to clinic, bring her to see the doctor, like aimi said, as if there's only one doc in the world... heheheheh.. yelah, am my mom's daughter, she's the only best doctor i know :P

nyways, got a call from orang pantai, asking me to decide on the color of the floor to be.. so walla, in half hours out of the house, decided on floor, got the doc to see nayya, confirmed she is having measles.... wuwuwuwu... poor baby, now she'd be gatal ... so got some calamine lotion, piriton.

rite now just 'lari' a while, she just wanna sleep with me. on me with me. now she's asleep. too tired maybe.

gosh how long is this measles gonna be?

dengue test result

rashes...

nayya reaction with sunlight...

nanyy & her fever & her first biz day..:P

2006-07-17T21:44:00.000+08:00

aaa. alas my malas moment has ended...wahahaha...tho thanks to aimi foor the updates on our lives.

well, in a weeks time nayya would be 6 months. things that she can now do is, yes half crawling and half mengengsot. she can mengengsot very fast now.dont put her on the bed unattended, she might just fall off the bed, considering she has the i-must get-what-i-want impulse...in fact i let her do her impulse-curiosity-on-move move, she just made my bedside lamp fall off the bedside table, even the lamp that was suppose to be clicked upon putting it in its holder got out.. ganas nayya.. heheheh...even tht bantals i put to make her unable to move further, she just crawled over it, like rite now, she was saying 'kacang putih la ma!!'

i have been busy last week, me and my last minute attitude. i had slept at 4 am almost a week (as far as i can remember la, maybe it was just for a couple of days je..), ma asked me to sell my oils & crystals at her JIM QONTARN conference in melaka. at the same time we had come with the idea of making seven energy oils, to balance out the energy in a person. so here i was, having to formulate these 7E's blends, and baby & mom kit, and massaging oil, in just 1 weeks time, my my.. due to very good time planning, i had slept for just a couple of hours on the day of gerai buka... wahahahah... but i had the energy la kan, for 2 solid days, i had to wake in the morn, survived thru out the day, and pengsan at nite - really pengsan the moment maghrib comes rite till subuh.

so that was with me, with my nayya lak, she had a fever..on saturday her temperature was just slightly high. so she merengek a bit and tido a lot. on both of us, either aimi or me. aimi realised how backache feels like when holding nayya.. hahaha..when we got back home,both of us just collapsed on the bed, not changing our clothes, till 12 am, i missed my asr & maghrib. woke up a while, coz ayang called, he was worried.. no news at all for many hours..then next day, had to bukak gerai till lunch. by the time noon comes, she just couldn't tolerate the people. so many ppl and so much attention. so, we packed our stuff, zoom to kl.. mind you not home but kl!!! me & nayya simply pengsan in the car.. till kl, then in kl in the musolla, slept too. then in the car going back, slept. up for food.. & sometimes for membebel 'bout the road. coz i know where to go.. tu pun lepas kan ma & aimi to decide. hehehe...

ok reached home at about 11 pm. me headache, nayya fever naik lagi.. waaa... risaunye.she just cried. ma gave her chamomile and put some water on her forehead.. ba asked to put on her body, 'param'.. first time heard the name.. so she cried... and then i brought her to my room, she slept on me. at about 3.30 am she was up, crying again... panas sgt kut. i gave her aconite 200c. for the next 1 hr another dose, everytime i woke up, gave her one dose. i got headache, & u know me with headache..just simply couldn't see straight. but anak nye pasal, tahan jugak. finally subuh i woke up, she cried, i gave her to ma & ba for me to pray. then both of us collapsed again. she on top of me. that was about the whole day's routine, we slept thruout the day. her fever was quite high in the noon. but after asar, it was rather lower.

she ate lunch, and dinner. makan byk, susu pun byk.. cam the whole day susu je. god, i was so worried. de mo ne, its good for her, to build her immune system. just have to monitor, if its too bad, have to be on alert. hope by tomorrow she would recover.
its painful to see your daughter got sick. even smiling she would make half a smile. her crawls are just slow. no mood. wuwuwuwu....

my feelings are, like me too having a fever. nak makan pun tak lalu. feel weak too. wuwuwuw... i guess that's how a mom would feel when her anak gets sick.

ok.. a long entry this time. i would put in some pics for the gerai day out. all the pics are in ma's hp. wait till she gets back from bintulu.

bye for now...

hehehe

2006-07-09T01:05:00.000+08:00

malas!!!!!!

babbling..bla..bla...blaaa

2006-06-23T10:27:00.000+08:00

yesterday i was shocked to hear about mama's story about her patient whom has an 11 months baby, and hadn't eaten any solid food besides her mom's milk. the mom's excuse was her baby just didn't like rice. she tried to give rice, her baby was only excited for the 2 first spoons and after that no longer interested to eat. so she didn't try to feed her baby anything else. her baby is just merely 7 kg. nayya is now 6 and a half and she's just 5 months old. ooohh, yeah yesterday was her fifth month birthday same with her auntie hana, who got herself with sooooooooooooo many flowers, 21 roses for a 21 yr ol gal!!

i just kept on thinking how can her mommy let her baby not eating anything after 6 months. come on in the hospitals after you gave birth the posters are everywhere telling, or educating us to have babies eat after 6 months.what else can you do if not read & SEE the notice boards. here i am worried that my nayya is allergic to cow's milk, which means i have to other means of food for her. and her appetite sometimes is not easy to please. sometimes she wants to eat, sometimes i have to force her to eat, sometimes when i feed her in the morning, if she doesn't want to eat,then i wait till noon, try again. tried many kinds of food. bought her apples, bananas, sweet potatoes... its trying my very best to give my child enough nutrients. after all in the first year of babies life, they develop very fast, too many changes, & food is important to help them grow.

there you go.. me babbling.

oo, BTW, nayya cought cold & fever. kesian die.. runny nose, irritable eyes, couldn't sleep long enough. but the funny thing was that she spoke more than usual, like dreamy all day long. but clingy, so i just had to sit with her, sleep with her. mommy is becoming like baby... hehehe :P

bayam paste

2006-06-21T21:49:00.001+08:00

today is nayya's first day of really green vege!!

went on a marathon of catching up with 'stuffs -that-i-need-to-do' yesterday.early morn went to psr borong, then to MT, BOMBA, then klinik made some important phone calls there, then met some mr Hee for his signature,then off to melaka town, went on a crazy hunting for fridge, and lastly shopping for groceries - the worst of them all, coz it took us 2 hrs to do it!! why everything must be in one single day.... aahh, the thing with what i call as putting things on-hold for sooooo long, once i decided to do it meant doing it in a single day!!! anyways needed to do it coz nayya's food had finished, and kitty's food finished too. so i was kinda worried with my babies - (nayya + naruto and helwa) and the company. so put things together, it happened in a single day. besides, i was all alone with nayya for the past 2 days almost. so i just felt the energy to do something... came back at about 6 pm. talking about doing something!!!

so, i bought some spinach for nayya, baby spinach, for my baby. today i simmered it and blended and mixed it with her rice cereal. she loved it!! well last night i gave her carrot paste, i was kinda feeling like she didn't like vege. made her carrot thingy last time, she didn't like it. so i bought the ready made one, tasted it, gave to her too. and she liked it. so, i think i will have to learn on how to make it to taste better.

hmm... i think since i have the habit of looking at nayya's poo, this morn i got to see carrot in poo form!!! i wonder how bayam would look like....

hmm.. now am thinking i should have took some pics of her bayam paste..:P

half a leg crawl...

2006-06-17T13:18:00.000+08:00

its gonna be just one more week her 5th birthday, which is the same day as hana's birthday.

so what new stuff can she do now? hmm...as a parent i feel kinda pressured that my child should know this thing by this time, or that thing by that time. i'm not that kind of person, i'm the relaxed kind. i don't like to push people around. if they dont want do it, then that's fine.

same here with my baby. i just want her to be happy. no pressures. she wants to learn them then, learn. but if i see she's interested, i'd motivate her more. so there goes my ramblings over my irritation to some.. heheheh

well, for nayya, some already saying that she should know how to crawl!! and because she's not crawling, the answer to her is she's lazy!!! aaaarrghhhhhh....

again, i can't stop membebel.

nayya knows how to move. i'd say half a leg crawl. only we would move forward, she'd move backward... the first time i noticed was when i put her on the floor, and i started doing my work. after some time, she was making an irritated cry sound, i looked at her & i realised she was upset that she was further than her toys!!! she lifted her butt and pushed herself backwards.

after awhile she would really cry and i have to pick her up. enough exercise for her. hehehe....

p/s the slides thingy, the file is a bit too big. so everytime i want to see my blog it would be stuck for a few secs there.

toy monster!!

2006-06-14T20:21:00.000+08:00

some rajin work of mama nayya. hehehehe.....

toy monster in action!!!

yIndia!!

2006-06-14T12:18:00.000+08:00

yesterday we went to KLIA. in the morn got a phone call from ba, after waking up, nayya and mommy bathe and we were on our way.

it was stuff from yIndia had arrived and picked up yesterday. was so afraid of the taxes charged, but, no charges. not now la, maybe when its 5 tonnes or more then la will charge!!

it was not a planned trip we made yesterday. ba being new to his office, and went to work on his own!!, none of his kids got up early yesterday to send him..bad kids...,left his reading glasses and some stuff home. so its half way to KLIA, we went to seremban then to KLIA.. corrected it, to MT-Seremban-KLIA...

in MT while waiting for aiman, i went out of the car, coz nayya was a bit restless.tried to put her to sleep by taking her for a walk.then a lady came down from her office.she gave a smile and shooke my hands, all because she wanted to say how cute nayya is. heheheh. then we talked. i got to know there's a kindergarden just next door to klinik, while waiting for aiman pick up ma's new toy. the aromatherapy shop which is 2 shops after the klinik is more concentrated to facial treatment, so my chance is really are more in the oil blends and massage. gosh i am now feeling the fear of what if things dont work out.. what if this,what if that... ok its time to look back at my plans....

we came back at about 6 pm. boy aren't both of us were bushed. we singgah at the mosque near KLIA, just because nayya was restless and aiman was sleepy, so i drove. lepak masjid to just calm nayya. prayed there. aiman slept a bit. then he drove all the way back. so much for mommy driving, got only to the mosque, in sepang too!!! wahahahahaha.

came back excited with the oils!! nayya was on the bed, playing je.. her mom was too excited to layan her... again, bad mommy!!! but being tired, we just ended up sleeping early. not so early for me tho, again my headache was coming back. its really irritating for me coz i never can stand headsches. but i am getting them every other day nowadays. nasib baik la nayya is always helpfull whenever i was having one. she sleeps easily.

BTW wanna see photos go to aimi's blog...she got all the photos for yestedays' trip...
malas me!!!

nayya naughty

2006-06-11T18:48:00.000+08:00

nayya is getting more determined!!!

when she wants it, it means anything can do.. see pics if you dont believe it!!

she wanted to 'catch' her Barney bag from the side of the bed!! didn't care the way to get it, even if it meant her falling off the bed!!

she lost all her voices...and i thought she'd still have her ranges of funny voices after learning them... her grandparents were saying she was quiet, last week. this week to i'd say.

today, she had been a bit teary, i think her tummy was not doing so ok, she hadn't poo in 2 days. my tummy too was not that good, been having headache today, with a bit of constipation. so i guess she got it from me??

ahh, i'm now trying to write properly, my baby sis is saying my grammar is going all wrong, my presents and pasts...duh...:P

yam is really purple!!

2006-06-02T22:32:00.000+08:00

hmm... am thinking bout today's story...what about today???

new discovery for me today. because of nayya could not take any cereal with funny stuff in it, her nani bought her sweet potatoes. last week it was the skin was purple while the inside was slightly orangish. but today, pasticularly, the skin was purple, and the inside was purple too!!! now that's something new for me. no wonder the yam icecream is colored purple. its because of the natural colour!!! duhh..... clever mommy isn't it?? de mo ne. nayya was just too full with milk to have her yam or her keledek, so ended up curious mommy eating nayya's food...

nayya is pretty much in a good mood today.she plays on her own, for more than 15 mins, i think for almost an hour.she doesn't cry that much when she was sleepy.am wondering if she's more active like exercising her hands a bit more maybe, in a couple of months time she can start to crawl... just maybe.

p/s:well..hmmm, see i got myself stuck into reading other mommies stories... hehehe. mama sarah & amar's latest entry made me do so!!!

my little angel

2006-06-01T11:15:00.000+08:00

this week she has a new voice toplay with. no more that gagak or harimau sound. now she's making a gulping sound. so she's kinda quiet this week.

on sunday i think, she made a revision of all the sound she could make, the loud voice, the saliva spurting and the gulping voice...

oo, she has been making her turns quite often now. whenever she's on the bed or anywhere nowadays.i think this particular week she's been rather active.even in her sleep she's turn herself over.

yesterday i had received a visit from SIRIM, and my nayya had been such a little angel..mommy was busy goin here and there, she was just being so baik budi, like what orang medan said.only when she was tired and sleepy she'd cry a bit. i rocked her for awhile then she's asleep.

well, anyways, she's up again...

burung gagak or harimau?

2006-05-28T10:58:00.000+08:00

nothing much to say. just was having headaches these couple of days, a bit of flu.think today is much better.today, being sunday, i'd be like resting a lot. as if i haven't been doing that before this...

tomorrow would be a big day for me,or should i say for us. many things to do..going to the bank, to alor gajah for registration of papantanda for the new company, a meeting with the contractor... everything in the same day...like usual i want everything to be done within one day...

hmm, nayya is really using her 'big' voice whenever she's happy or sad or angry.. her nani said she sounds like burung gagak, her nana, on the other hand said she sounds like harimau... whatever it is,if she's upset, i would not end up trying to console her, but laugh first...bad mommy.

again...been trying to give her cereal.she just couldn't take any of it.one was with cow's milk,rice and carrots,some soy stuff...gave her, she developed rashes on her face, which went away after a couple of hours. the next day gave her just rice cereal with formula milk which had no soy compund in it (been thinking its the soy she's allergic to),still she developed the rashes.i just got a bit anxious on giving her my own cooked food, homemade stuff because of the incident that happened the last time.

so what's next? its like experimenting with your own baby..the thing is, am trying to feed her.seems like she's just like her parents..allergic to many stuff...

bad mommy, huhuhu

2006-05-25T13:22:00.000+08:00

waa..nayya got stomachace yesterday..all because of mommy!!
i gave her barley.i read on the internet on how to make food for your baby. so genius mama followed the instructions, and add up the part where by she dry-fried the barley. the fire was a little bit too high,barley got burned a bit. asked the helper whether it was ok,she said it was ok... so being a genius, mommy just gave her baby the barley.

so the rest of the day nayya cried,went out, she cried going and coming slept for a few minutes, awake and cried.at night maghrib she threw up all the milk she had before that.

well after throwing up, she smiled..hmmm, that's how i got to know she had stomach upset...no more cries..then she slept, like a baby..heheheh, till morn, with her mommy who got a terrible headache, after she slept..the pressure and not eating well.

so today, no food for nayya, just my milk.she's ok now...experimenting with her 'big' voice!!

talking about that, nayya this week found her voice!! she cries now with her mouth big open, and huge voice... heheheh...experimenting, experimenting....

mommy and baby bushed!!

2006-05-19T21:36:00.000+08:00

she's asleep.second day of food.during the day she was unable to sleep long enough like yesterday.maybe because i had to some business things in mt.it made her uncomfortable to sleep.now she's fast asleep.. poor nayya

well, i think she's allergic to the brown rice powder i gave her.i'll hsve to make it myself,grind them then, boil 'em.see whether she's still allergic to it.banana she's ok.

hmm,i think she wants to grow up fast!! coz when she's hungry for food, my food she would want to grab.hmm, a bit hyper today.couldn't stop wanting to suck anyone's hands.maybe its just because i've been kinda busy these past few days, i think this past 1 week been busy.

right now am feeling the pang of fatigue.my legs all hurt, back is aching.like i did a marathon or something.in the morn i woke up the feeling i want to sleep.but i must wake up coz she wants to wake up.so my day would begin her her.end with me, doing my work.

ah, well, i am rather bushed tonite.ooohh, everyone doakan dayat for his exam tomorrow.biar tenang,lancar dan mudah untuk die jawab... amin...

ohh, there's this arabic song, ainayya bahebbak...

her first solids!!

2006-05-19T01:17:00.000+08:00

Her first soilds today!!

Brown rice...lunch banana.Didn't know only once for a beginning.heheh.
turns out, she loves it.she slept easier today.made more poo than usual.

aaa well....growing up she is....

pics..hmmm maybe aimi put it in her blog.maybe not.will aske from her tomorrow

2006-05-16T22:06:00.000+08:00

she found out a few things today, her thumb,her feet, and this week her tongue,which she can do her 'bruuuu,bruuuu,bruuuu' till her face is full of her saliva.

today,i actually got a bit anxiuous,she just wouldn't want to sleep..5 mins then she started to wake up.putting her to sleep was not easy.. so to release me of the stress, i gobbled up a lotof food, a lot of calories, i'd say today..comfort food.

demo ne, i believe that i have been not eating well, and sleeping lesser and doing extra work, (oh i cooked lunch,extra speacial lunch,there was choc orange cheesecake too,for my mom,mom's day last sunday)..so everything added up, my blood glucose went a bit lower than usual and my tummy wasn't helping. plus i got headache couple days ago.voila...fatigue,stress...

ok, nayya ended up sleeping early today. at about 6.30 she was fast asleep only to wake up at 11 for milk,and goes back to sleep.

as for me, i had some time to do my work.now am tired... want to find something to munch, adding to the xtra2 calories i took today...heheheh

yersterday's photo (14/5/06)
she was in aimi's room and on the bed trying to eat her hand!!

coming to 4'th month of life

2006-05-15T11:59:00.000+08:00

hmmm,weeks had passed...still no updates eh

a week more she would be 4 months old.i think she had gained weight, lose a bit of her chubbiness, and her baby rashes months...grown from 45 cm to 69 cm.

developments

nayya seems to improve on her grabbing technique.she can now grab my plate while i'm eating.she'd look at her 'bakul',touches it.i bought her an orange rattler,well she can now hold it,and she can put it into her mouth!!one time i saw her trying so hard to put it inside her mouth,every angle she tried, buat alas none can fit her mouth.another time,the rattler was beside her right cheek,she'd turn to it and tried to suck it.

this is a good one,a couple of nights ago,she went rolling on the bed.tiarap, telentang, tiarap, telentang. i had to roll off the bed to let her roll. hehehe..see she's not slow,she's just saying there are a lot of other things i have to learn, like doing the flying baby thingy... hehehe....if i hold her (dukung),she would lean her body to the front till, she's 90 degrees away, i.e.,upside down.she likes it that way.if sitting she would lean backward, so that she'd looking things upside down again..so i'd be holding her 6 kilos weight with one hand while the other typing hehehe, or doing something else...but when does her flying thing, i'd stop doing anything

then,the best thing she can do now is she can give me a very big laugh whenever i play with her..when i hear her laughter,my heart really melted..i think i have more than one heart,..because it doesn't happen just one time.:P

oh,well,she's growing up.i guess ppl would say before you know she'll be all grown up.

but alas,enjoy these moments...take one day at a time.at times, i do feel extreme fatigue.who says taking care of a baby is easy???but when layers of it goes away,all i can feel is strong love for her.like her name, she's my sweetheart.

ayang's version of flying..

aimi & nayya BSN melaka 5/5/06

naya and her 90 degrees somersoult!!

LCCT, anta ma gi bintulu

KLCC,14/4/06 & edited photos,courtesy of ayang

a reflection

2006-05-06T23:05:00.000+08:00

complexity.
values
serenity
sounds,voices
sanity
sensitivity
emotions
physical
spiritual
stupidity
addiction
depression
innocence
guilt
joy
sad

mixed together.humans.mere creatures.with no strength to be on their own.weaklings whom needs and wants must be met,otherwise will perish.emotionally or physically.bound by laws,natural law.yet unbound by love,natural power.no control.none would have for they are not the one in control.

surrender then.

so much for some big idea...

2006-05-05T22:12:00.000+08:00

what was on my mind lately?

for a week nayya showed me her crying voice.then for a week my days were hectic,trying to get her to bed or busy entertaining her.there were moments when i was thinking writing something in the blog or just scribble somewhere.that thoughts just went into my dreams,usually i would fall asleep before the words materializes.hehehe...

been travelling to kl last wednesday and klia friday.put us tired,both me and nayya.knowing nayya,she would be sleeping more when travelling, so whenever we come back home, she can sleep better..hehehe

oo, went to pd last sunday.it seemed nayya doesn't like sea air.she just screamed the minute we arrived.never seen her like that.

always,me don't like to put in pictures,coz one thing they are on this computer.that's not a good excuse coz can always get it from aimi.so, if wanna see pics see aimi's blog....or before this her ayah's blog.

well maybe just one pic..malasla..the computer lambat...hilang dah mood nak mencari gamba..heheheh....

tantrums

2006-05-02T23:40:00.000+08:00

ahhh..my nayya has been showing her tantrums lately.i simply don't know what to do.
she's been crying a lot.and don't want to sleep.i have to sleep with her if i want her to sleep long enaf.

feelings..like i want to cry with her.i think she's missing her father,something's missing from her. i guess.

am tired.just wanna sleep.

road

2006-04-28T13:39:00.000+08:00

one road,
one road to the Heaven.
The heaven,
the heaven where one seeks,
the heaven where one does not eat,
nor drink,awake nor sleep.
The heaven where needs are
no longer needed to be fullfilled
for it has always been fullfilled.
The heaven where the heart
is contended with its love and joy.
For in the heaven all is promised
rewards ~ rewards ub abundance
abundance in not materialistic materials
but in materials one would not imagine

one road one seeks,
one road one needs,
one road one leads,
all roads to heaven one reaches.
how one would say
how one would pray
to Allah
I would say

gunakan masa,lapang sebelum sempit...

2006-04-26T20:41:00.000+08:00

she's asleep.

i think these 3 days have been really hard on me.being her ayah away and my body still tired and i got headache,she has been really not sleeping during the day and very much 'clingy' to me.i put her to sleep.she'll sleep for about half an hour or just 15 mins.i simply couldn't do anything but to be with her.feeding takes longer than ever, she will suckle for 30mins to an hour or maybe more,coz if she terjaga she will want more.

i wanted to do my planning.but alas, only about now i can do.i even wanted to clean up my study table since ages.was about to do late this afternoon.now its between wanting to have a rest to clean up or to just sleep.

gone were the days when i can do stuff..ha, tu la, gunakan masa,lapang sebelum sempit.

timetable

2006-04-26T10:23:00.000+08:00

now am trying to make a schedule with my baby and me.i would be working on my own and the timetable would be with my discipline,if not i would end up not doing anything, like yesterday and i think today.

boy my 'anak dara' berbulu,helwa has officailly approached her puberty.now she's in heat....really making loud noises.i never knew she-cats when in heat can be so obvious.i think my other she-cats were not like that.but then i was not involved with the other cats as am with this one.and naruto is just following her everywhere,maybe wanting to ease her pain, unfortunately she's just not interested with him...

ok nayya is uncomfortable now

ayah p cairo,nayya

2006-04-24T22:06:00.000+08:00

waaaaaaaaaaaa....ayang dah p cairo balik.now its just the 2 of us.the thing is we were so busy finding stuff for him to bring and picking up ppl here n there, no time to really feel anything.. just pure tiredness at the end of each day,during the weekend,b4 he went.. all 3 of us.

after sending ayang,came back to mlk,bathe nayya..i mandi too,then she gave her sleepy tantrum..fed her and she slept,i slept..practically like the whole day.my body is aching just like i participated in a marathon or something.

aynag too said he was not feeling well in the flight.he just arrived in cairo...

we will survive this..all 3 of us...

battles

2006-04-20T23:02:00.000+08:00

ahhh,the battles which i have to go thru all day long...

...waking up,bathe her.then comfort her,feed her,rock her to sleep.then breakfast...most of the times..after an hour or more.then my turn to take a bath,clean my room.by the time i'm finished with that,she's up again..so again change her diapers,comfort her,feed her.then its,lunch time.maybe she'd fallen asleep again,maybe not.these past 2-3 days she's been a bit restless and jumpy.so she kept waking up after i put her to sleep.how frustrating eh...

well the rest of the day is juggling with trying to comfort her and put her to sleep and feed her,with the stuff i need to do,like going places,do some surfing.etc.

my prayers all are always in betweens...only at nite after she's asleep, i pray isya' without having the feeling she would wake up soon or i just go to sleep with her.only to wake up again in the midst of nite.hahahaa..how typical of me.but its just tonite,after my isya',i have this feeling,that i should make it a point that i'd do my prayers in a more relaxed way...let it all go for awhile,not rushing things like usual...then only i can be calmer.after all praying is the time for one to umwind oneself from the 'material world'.heheheh my term.and each waktu has its meanings and when that waktu is over,its like the beginning of the next episode will begin...

hahahaha...

3 months infant

2006-04-18T14:49:00.000+08:00

The third month

By the third month, you and your baby probably will have established a daily routine of feeding, sleeping, diaper changing and playing. The process may not have been easy, but you're both starting to reap the rewards. As each day passes, your baby's distinct personality traits begin to shine through more and more. By 12 weeks of age, babies can:

* Express affection. Your baby will begin to reach for you when he or she needs attention, and snuggle in your arms for security and happiness.
* Play independently. An infant at 3 months can, with minimal parental involvement, play for as long 10 or 15 minutes at a time. An interesting sight or sound easily distracts an infant this age from almost anything — even nursing. Three-month-old babies spend time staring at things — pictures, mobiles, their own hands.
* Move with purpose. At this age, babies' neck muscles are strong enough to support their heads independently for a second or two. Although they can't roll over yet, they are getting close by turning from side to back. Also, if you set a toy in front of your baby, he or she will grasp it and hold onto it for a few moments.
* Speak their own language. By this time, your baby coos constantly, making more noises and sounds every day. When you talk to your baby close-up, wait for a vocal or body response. Even when you don't talk one-on-one, your baby still enjoys hearing your voice from across the room.

http://www.cnn.com/HEALTH/library/PR/00061.html

PC Fair

2006-04-18T12:19:00.000+08:00

last saturday went to Pc fair with nayya,hubby and hilmi.

what i can say is,it was horrible.ppl were like semut..literally semut!!! rite from klcc shopping centre to the convention centre and the exit.i was going crazy...just imagine how nayya was feeling.she couldn't sleep at all thruout the 5 hrs 'trip' in the fair.

first i was like ok,maybe we can do this.i was sitting at the skirts of gerai2..thankfully there were these extra spaces with carpet on.so i waited for hubby and hilmi to buyy ma's laptop.that was the first hall.but then there 5 halls!! and all the halls must be passed thru,before the exit.hahahaha..just imagine my nitemare. i was holding nayya and rushing thru out the rest of the halls, avoiding the semut ppl.sakit tangan, kaki.but was not even thinking.ok that was on saturday.

on sunday, we decided to go to klcc again,ma wanted to go to the fair lak.i said am not going, we were just gonna be in the shoppping complex.i wanted to buy some stuff.again ended up my being supermom!!!first we were going thru the shops, then relaxed in the mom's room, gave her milk.then continued searching laagi.then,ate lunch.she slept.then afterthat she woke up and started crying,that was when i became supermom.this time my kaki sakit camne pun lupe langsung.all i could think of was to bring nayya to the car and comfort her.so ma kene tinggal kat toilet,hilmi was searching for ma.me, hubby and nayya was in the car and there were no signal for hp.hahahaha... just imagine the chaos we were in..and everyone was tired....

The Forgotten Lessons

2006-04-18T12:15:00.000+08:00

The Forgotten Lessons

rocket

2006-04-18T09:55:00.000+08:00

see told ya she would just know am on the com...put her to sleep,10 mins later she's up.now she's on my lap.

this morn, like usual, she woke me up.then checked on her diaper..jeng-jeng,guess what happened? she made a 'rocket poo'!! so i got poo all over me and on the bed.baru je tuka bedsheet...ended up mama die mandi awl...good thing la.

tiarap?

2006-04-14T16:29:00.000+08:00

hahaha... just now nayya tried to turn from lying on her back to her tummy..she has been trying to do so for the past 1-2 weeks..only today i noticed there's an improvement.so i helped her.... hehehehe.. the mommy thingy... always want to help your child,kesian....

well,the really funny thing is that,she turned herself back to lying on her back!!now tht's something...was thinking she should be doing the other way not from meniarap to baring.

really, am teaching her to sit in front of the computer, she seemed to know everytime i want to use it.i have no choice but to put her on my lap, sitting apparently she loves it,either fascinated by the screen or me typing.

ok now she's getting restless.. she's cring her single cries now.hehehe...

road to Allah

2006-04-04T23:40:00.000+08:00

am very sleepy at the moment.eyes are half open..

to know oneself will make him or her know Allah.to love onself makes the road to Allah even shorter.to serve Allah,one must serve people.

always the answer to one's question when it matters about life or just merely secrets of happiness is to look around and appreaciate and love them.it is not difficult to do.however road to understanding this maybe tough to some or even one may not see at all.

funny, i come to realise them after many things happened to me.always,in my heart i had known them to be true, yet to accept these things as true took me some time...still i'm walking on His path.not knowing what will happen in the future, and putting my faith in Him.hope for the best..insya-Allah.

medAN PIcs

2006-04-04T01:16:00.000+08:00

medan event...

block

2006-04-04T01:06:00.000+08:00

there is a block in me that whenver i want to spill out my thoughts after thinking or maybe just had a eureka about it, it just disappeared.used to be i can just simply sit down with a pen and made poems just like that.but now...it wont happen....

mAybe its because i had not been reading anything lately.but at the same time i have this feeling in me,that there's so much more for me to learn that my thoughts should be put aside first so that i'd learn even more..and get the message even better.life is not always about oneself...its about others too.understanding,knowing and learning..

oh well,its past midnite..i should better get some sleep before my baby wakes up...

poo lover....

2006-04-04T00:54:00.000+08:00

been wanting to write this in blog for almost a week now....

just thinking how ironic it is that once thinking of someone else's poo was really out of mind, eer...gross.now that i have nayya, her poo means so much to me.she was having tummy ache and didn't poo for 2 days.i was so anxious, so much so on day 3 she pooed i was looking at her poo for a long time,happy.and after that everytime she pooed i calculated how much.well i did get the habit since she had her joundice.the color of her poo should be green first then yellow.her urine should be not greenish...

but when there is a necessity to change your perception over some things...it just changes.

yeah by the way today she hasn't poo that much,like usually she'd poo.she's not comfortable with herself today.cried a lot...or should i say rengek.my baby doesn't cry a lot,she just screamed herself a bit.a very secure baby i'd say....

the age of innocence

2006-03-29T21:17:00.000+08:00

i realised that babies are so true to their feelings.of course many would say how would they not do so.because they can't think for themselves.true.but they can't lie to you, or pretend to be otherwise.maybe when he or she gets older would have some seeking attention syndrome...then, they lose their innocence?well i'd rather say its predictable.still true to their feelings.

when nayya wakes up from her sleep she tends to either cry.. a manja cry which if u dont pick her up would cry even lauder...or she would suddenly menjerit kinda like someone pinched.or she would just smile.she would just react to her feelings.if she made a lot of poo or kenc, she would again either cry or becomes uncomfortable with herself.when she's clean, she would smile again.so simple.

i guess that's the reason why would one say that children are in the age of innocence, they don't pretend.

medan

2006-03-16T22:36:00.000+08:00

am back from medan.became pengantin lama!!

hehehe.... tired,sore all over,nayya is recovering from flu.that made me feel more tired.so now i know how my parents would worry if any of their babies got sick,they get sick too.

well, now the knot is tied from both sides.officially married and with child!! not to say that before this we were not married, but now families from both sides got to know both of us.that's the beauty of islam,a gathering is made to inform friends and families.

baby is awake.

seekers of truth

2006-02-22T20:10:00.000+08:00

"Come, come, whoever you are.
Wanderer, worshipper, lover of leaving.
It doesn’t matter.
Ours is not a caravan of despair.
Come, even if you have broken your vow
a hundred times.
Come, yet again, come, come"

arrumi said to seekers of truth.

nayya is one-month old!!

2006-02-22T11:49:00.000+08:00

she's asleep.

i have this feeling of wanting to jot down some thoughts....kinda some matured stuff.
but don't know what.

so that's kinda a sign for me , i'm a bit relaxed.i guess i have reached my getting used to baby's sleeping pattern.

ooo..its her one-month birthday!! yay..alhamdulillah.

but i am really hungry rite now.hypoglycemic feeling.havent had breakfast, and now is 12 pm.not a good thing coz am breasfeeding baby.have to eat well too.

talking about eating, pregnant..must eat well,post-pregnant..must eat very well coz what i eat will directly go to milk.body wise, i am 15 kgs over weight!!!!so just imagine my nitemare!!!

12 pm, 22/FEB

pics

2006-02-21T12:38:00.000+08:00

so the pic of her this morn on bed.. she was busy kentut'ing and after her bath.

ok nayya is up...

hancing mommy

2006-02-21T12:32:00.000+08:00

rite now nayya has rashes on her face, back,arms a bit...ma said its quite normal or babies to have it.

everyday i'd get siram over by her u know.like rite now.wahahaha.... so around 12 or so she'd sleep long enaf for me to mandi,eat, and blogging.hopeully aaa...well, the longest time she slept was when her nana tucked her to sleep... her nana slept with her, so maybe she found that nana had a comforting aura with him...she almost slept the whole day and nite!! only to wake up for feeds, and afterwards sleep again.i had time to do many things that day.

gosh this is so hancing!!!!:(

NOW

2006-02-20T18:36:00.000+08:00

enaf backdating info...

so we are in the 'NOW'

hehehe...:)

add another couple of days, nayya will be a month old. yay!! her one month birthday is coming.btw, my birthday was just 3 days ago.only aimi remebered my birthday, hilmi during eve.ma was when hilmi called, ba was an hour or more afterwards, hana was kinda around the same hour, aiman lak, was gonna wish me, but was in his dreamy state... so ended up being the last to wish me.

so happy birthday to me... the year when everyone forgot about it, almost everyone.

no hard feelings tho.ok, a little....

so nayya is a aweet baby.not so much tantrums.she loved to sleep.but aren't all 1 month babies do sleep a lot?

she loves to smile.altho she doesn't quite know why she was using that muscle to smile..but she does smile a lot.when matuk came, ma gave her lyco and arnica, seemed she responded pretty fast with hom remedies,so she ended up crying a lot, coz dah jadi proving lak.so that was when she lost her sweetness for awhile.afterwards she was ok.

a couple of weeks ago, she started having colics,so again every now and then she'd end up crying,esp during the nite,no she's not the kind that cries alllllll the way, she just didn't want to sleep, had to walk her,rock her a bit..all in the middle of the nite.with her ayah too la. was having flu, with fever, runny nose,cough, terrible headache...imagine had to wake up in mid of nite, and not feeling well.

so spells of 3 hrs sleep breaks, during the nite. and during the day,every 2-3 hrs must feed baby and rock baby to sleep... i simply couldn't do anything.

then, i started to get the new mom syndrome.tension tak tentu pasal...wahahaha.... looking at hubby sleeping was like ... why me???? cant i have time of my own? cant i go to toilet whenever i wish to go?cant i read a book?cant i go update my blog? duh all sorts of selfish questions.wahahaha....came a time i simply took my bath at 5 am, coz, i wanted to do it the nite before and wasn't able to.so got miserable and bathe as early as that time.

well,adjustment period this is.that's all motherhood is all about.they say,giving birth is easier compared to raising a child.i don't know yet,but,wish me luck.

this is where all children (maybe i'm too generalizing to everyone) would say they want to raise their baby the best way...not the way they were brought up... wahahahaha.but, all i can say is this, i will try my very best to be the best parent for my child.i may not be perfect,but i will love her and tell her all the time that i will be there for her,no matter what.i think all children would appreciate that.

there u go...nayya is about to wake up.maybe she made some poooo or maybe she wants some milk.

pst delivery

2006-02-20T09:03:00.000+08:00

post delivery

well, i just simply slept after the delivery.only st 4 am i woke up.baby not at my side..:(

i had to go to toilet..not that urgent to go, but have to, if not something would be wrong... as they say la... tell u, it was the worst thing ever... sakitnye!!!!!

the sakitnye thingy lasted for the next 2 weeks.cried evrytime i had to pass bowel, b.o.coz i had a third degree perineal tearing...more of cutting.wahahaha.. so it involved the external anal sphincter.

slept back afterwards.only to wake up in the morn. and then i think i got to see my baby in the afternoon maybe.

tuesday

the next day was better, so i kinda wanted to see my baby earlier, this was tuesday, at 8.30.tried to give her breast milk,nope she didn't want.no milk to begin with.

so today found out she was jaundice.i could go back today.but baby could not.so another day in the hospital.then she had to be put under photolight thingy.she cried, i too cried. it was so cruel, they had to strip her till she wore just her diapers, with no cover or bedding, they put her under the warm thingy, till the jaundice dissappear.my baby couldn't stand being alone, with no clothes, and it was warm.like the whole nite i was up, trying to console baby, then made her fall asleep, then undress her, put her under the lite.then she would wake up crying, i'd do the same thing again... it was crazy, sometimes i could only put her 5-10 min only then she'd cry.called my hubby later, told him am already tired.he said let baby in there i go to sleep. it was for her benefit. so i consoled baby for last time... and let her sleep in the hot crib... i too slept...only to wake up when i heard she screamed so loud. i let her slept under the hot thingy for 2 or 3 hrs solid... when i picked her up she was so hot. nyesal tido ehhh....

wednesday

today her jaundice was down only to 14.takleh balik gak. i was like going crazy.here i am so tired, after delivery. havent had a bath.not been eating well, since before birth and till now.then ma did her thingy,afternoon, around 3-4i cold go back with baby.what a relief.

couldn't remember till which day my hubby slept with me at the hospital.i think till the second day,then i had to sleep alone.waaaa, nangis eh, coz one thing couldn't sleep.the other thing i had to go to toilet alone.not becoz i was scared, but it was all pain.oo yeah the first time i went to toilet, i did a little bit of walking, i almost fainted.

ainayya mardhiyya

2006-02-14T13:19:00.000+08:00

cont

by 4 i think, i said i just simply couldn't take the contractions anymore. i said, give me the painkiller.what ever to dull the pain..first the petadine, which had done nothing to me, then laughing gas, too didn't have any effect...wasn't laughing after inhaling the gas..:)... then by 4, i was given another drug, i forgot the nameof it.i fell asleep almost immediately...just the pain was unbearable....for an hour i slept, well it was kinda awaky sleep, half awake and half asleep.all my contrctions kinda vanished. mama was so worried how can contractions hilang camtu saje.hehehehe...

well baby's heartbeat was doing ok.after awhile, then i think durg to help contractions was given.so it was getting closer, every half a minute it came, each time was painful. then by back started to hurt.then uterus or cervix,then both. the doctor made VE again, with the contraction, she did VE, the sweeping lagi, sweeping is like clearing up the birth canal (maybe)to accelerate the birthing thingy.was so dissappointed that cervix was opened 7 cm. i was like please doc not now,until my contractions over then the VE.then doc Ishaireen came, she did VE,said, ok maryam i want u to hold on to your legs ad push... i was like, what now?i'm having the contractions...so tu la, was reading thru birthing process, wht u should do, how calm u must be, well, the practical part was... wayyyyyy different.unexpected ... i was like couldn't even differentiate between first contraction, second contraction, transition, third contraction didn't even feel it.

so, nayya was delivered with assistence of forceps. coz mommy was exhausted of screaming her lungs aout... wahahahaha.... i didn't know i had that voice like that...poor girl, she had marks on her left eye...

well, when nayya was firt put on me, i was, what a cute girl.so sweet.my feelings was i dunno.tired i guess.when they stitched me up, i didn't feel anything, just a feeling of lega aaa.... finally its over.

i went thru a total of 10 hrs of labour, not including the nite before..that was considered as kacang putih je

baby's name is ainayya mardhiyya.it means (my blessed beloved or buah hatiku yang diredhai)

well not everyone agreed with the name.what can i say. if follow everyone's wishes, then life would be just too complicated.dissappointed too, but ...

bersalin ...

2006-02-13T19:48:00.000+08:00

ok, how many weeks it took me to get me to write in this blog. first of all this is the new blog that i was saying about. hehehe... lame gile baru nak gune.. duh...

well, first hand experience of giving birth!!! painfull!!! but the silly thing was i kinda make a memalukan thingy when it happened.. the whole maternity ward i think heard my screamings.. wahahaha... and i was suppose to push...push...

maybe i think the contraction phase i had it all at the hospital, the doctor broke my waterbag. so that itself was painful.imagine a long thing was put inside u and it had to be kinda stirred the membrane... well, even the what was it? V.E. was painful.and then i was admitted quite early, the middle of sat nite.then slept at the hospital, that time my cervix was 2 cm opened.by morning it only had gone to 3 cm.so at 8, i had artificial membrane rupture thingy lah.and then was given painkiller, petadine i think.maybe at the same time was given some thing to stimulate the contraction.well, the real contraction begun by noon i think. i didn't have anything to eat since morning. was just eating yogurt, choc,milk.

u know i was closing my eyes almost all the way...reason i dunno. everytime the contraction comes, i was holding to almost anything i could. i was ranting 'sakit ma, sakit ma'. for my hubby, tak sanggup nak cakap kat dia, sebab i thought he would bear the pain with me too.thank god, mama and hubby were there. i wouldn't have known how i would feel.

oklah sambung lagi lepas ni.. nayya dah jaga.

2006-01-20T07:17:00.000+08:00

apapun bentuknya, cara dan ... bahkan niatnya (baik atau buruk), sesuatu non-material diupayakan hadir dan exist.
dan tidak sedikitpun ia sebuah 'kenihilan' maupun kenistaan... sebab singkatnya ia juga merupakan penggalian diri yang terdiri daripada materi dan non-materi.
jadi yang bijaksana adalah mencoba bukan hanya pandai mencemoohkan walau dengan taraf serendah2nya pencemoohan!

1st Posting

2005-12-09T18:15:00.000+08:00

I want to write, but no idea what to say.. wahahaha..